Live

Actual bulletin and service announcements

*This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
*Tuesday at 4 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. Will ladies giving milk, please come early.
*Wednesday the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johns will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
*Thursday at 5 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers will please meet the Minister in his study.
*This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jackson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
*The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join her.
*On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpeting. All wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.
*The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
*This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Par kratkih zanimljivosti

*Britanija će iz zakona ukinuti izraz prostitutka. Umjesto toga Ministarstvo pravosuđa spominje "osobe koje na redovnoj bazi prodaju seksualne usluge", što znači dva ili više puta u tri mjeseca."Samo smo željeli ukloniti stigmu etikete 'prostitutka'", rekla je portparol Ministarstva pravosuđa. Ovo ce strasno da pomogne, zar ne?
*Sijalica "Tungsram" od 50 svijeća, vlasništvo penzionisanog nastavnika matematike Stojana Petrovića iz Bijeljine, svijetli i nakon 74 godine od kada je proizvedena, i to jače od današnjih. Kupio ju je u Mađarskoj Stojanov otac Ljubo, bivši šef računovodstva u bijeljinskoj opstini, i postavio u dvorištu stare porodicne kuće 1933. godine. Pitam se ima li Tesla nesto sa ovim...
*Film Citizen Kane Orsona Wellesa o beskrupuloznom medijskom magnatu, drugi je put proglašen najboljim američkim filmom svih vremena. The Godfather je dospio na drugo mjesto, a Casablanca na treće. Među 10 najboljih filmova svoje je mjesto našao i Raging Bull , Singing in the Rain, Gone with the Wind, Lawrence of Arabia, Schindler's List, Vertigo i Wizard of Oz.Među filmovima snimljenima od 1996. do danas svoje mjesto na listi 100 najvećih našli su samo Lord of the rings (50. mjesto), Saving Private Ryan (71.), Titanic (83.) i Sixth sense (89.).
*Robert Plant je nemilosrdno pobio glasine o jednokratnom ponovnom ujedinjenju Led Zeppelina u sklopu memorijalnog koncerta u čast njihovom posljednjem izdavačkom šefu Ahmetu Ertegunu. Plant, Page i Paul su se trebali udružiti s Bonhamovim sinom Jasonom, kako bi posebnim londonskim koncertom odali počast osnivaču Atlantic Recordsa. Ostaje nam samo da se nadamo...

Skynyrd

Danas je 29. juni...

Podsjecam vas na raniji clanak objavljen 18. juna

The artwork by movie and rock stars

Lucy Liu

Viggo Mortensen

Johnny Depp

Stivie Nicks

Cat Stevens

Marylin Manson

Cohen

FASCINATING PEOPLE, Part 14

Mitar Tarabic lived in Kremna, Serbia in the latter half of the 19th century. An illiterate shepherd, a loner who enjoyed the company of his flock of sheep more than the company of people. Mitar started predicting things confiding what he'd "been told" to the local Orthodox priest, including -- it turned out with absolute accuracy - the time and circumstances of his own death. After Mitar died his nephew, Milos, inherited "the gift." The priest Zachary Zacharic wrote down the predictions out of pure curiosity. The Tabarics predicted there would be three World Wars and that the priest himself would die the same year the first war ended. When in fact Serbia was occupied by Austrian and Bulgarian troops in World War I and the Serbian army was bogged down in Macedonia, troops in the trenches had only one question for those who made it through enemy lines with news from Serbia: "Is the priest from Kremna still alive?"
The priest died and the war ended in the same year - 1918.

About Tarabic and other prophets and visionaries

LEGENDE BH & EX-YU SPORTA, Part 14.

Stonim tenisom su kod nas dugo dominirali Dragutin Šurbek i Antun Stipančić (13 medalja na evropskim i svjetskim prvenstvima, olimpijsko srebro u paru), a potom su u Seulu 1988 baklju preuzeli Ilija Lupulesku i Zoran Primorac, (dubl -srebrna medalja).
Erzebet Palatinus je dugo dominirala medju damama, a potom se pojavljuju Gordana Perkucin i Jasna Fazlic, (dubl -bronzana medalja u Seulu).

Lijepo je sjetiti se tih dana...

The Healer

Interesantne izjave fudbalera

- Nisam se mogao prilagoditi životu u Italiji, činilo mi se kao da živim u stranoj zemlji - Ian Rush.
- Volio bih igrati za neki italijanski klub kao sto je Barcelona – Mark Draper (Aston Villa).
- Najbitnije od svega je da smo osvojili tri boda!-Waynea Bridgea (Chelsey) nakon što su osvojili Carling Kup i podigli trofej.
- Neki dan sam gledao Blackburn na televiziji kada je George (Ndah) zabio pogodak u prvoj minuti. Htio sam ga nazvati, ali sam se sjetio da još igra – Ade Akinbiyi.
- Nismo ih potcijenili jednostavno su bili bolji nego što smo očekivali – Bobby Robson nakon što su Englezi jedva prošli Kamerun na Svjetskom prvenstvu 1990. godine.
- Tonyu je sigurno trebalo puno alkohola da prizna – Ian Wright nakon što je Tony Adams rekao medijima da ima problema s alkoholom.
- Nas tim može do finala FA Kupa osim ako nas neki tim možda ne izbaci - Dave Basset .

Kanadski poklon

U sarajevskoj Vijećnici jucer su dodijeljene knjige koje su kanadski izdavači poklonili Nacionalnoj i univerzitetskoj biblioteci BiH. Projekat je pokrenuo Konzulat Kanade u BiH u cilju davanja doprinosa Kanade obnovi knjižnog fonda NUB-a BiH. Pozivu se odazvalo 67 kanadskih izdavačkih kuća koje su dostavile oko 1.000 publikacija iz različitih oblasti stvaralaštva. Literaturu će moći koristiti studenti i šira čitalačka publika.

Amazing Tesla

Nikola Tesla - The Missing Secrets:
Part1
Part2
Part3
Part4

Jeff Healey

Actual excuses for school

*My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
*Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
*Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.
*Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
*Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
*John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
*Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
*Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
*Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
*Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
*Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. *Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
*Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
*Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
*I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.
*Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
*Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
*My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
*Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
*Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
*Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
*Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

Neandertalac

Naucnici koji proučavaju DNK neandertalaca javljaju kako vjeruju da će uskoro moći uspjeti rekonstruisati kompletni genom neandertalskog čovjeka usprkos degradaciji DNK kroz vrijeme.
Za pokretanje ovog istraživanja zaslužni su ''Nacionalni institut zdravlja'' i ''Max Planck Society'' iz SAD-a. Oni takođe polažu velike nade i u rekonstruisanje DNK pecinskog medvjeda i mamuta. U naucnim se krugovima već godinama vodi debata o vezi između neandertalca i modernog čovjeka. Jedna skupina naucnika smatra kako je moderni čovjek zamijenio neandertalca, dok druga vjeruje kako su se dvije vrste ukrstale. Sastavljanje genoma neandertalaca koji je živio u Evropi i dijelu Azije prije 300,000 godina u doba srednjeg paleolitika, moglo bi pomoći kod rješavanja tih zagonetki. Krapinski pračovjek jedan je od glavnih predstavnika neandertalaca, a zivio je i u Vindiji kraj Varaždina.

Kineski proizvodi u B&H - PAZNJA!

Ministarstvo zdravstva BiH zakljucilo je da 20 posto kineskih igračaka i odjeće za bebe je ispod standarda, a kineske paste za zube, rastvori za sociva i šminka opasni po ljudsko zdravlje. Sanitarni inspektori na granici kontrolu vrše prvo na graničnom prelazu, a onda nasumice odaberu nekolicinu proizvoda koji se nakon toga testiraju u laboratorijima. Primarni i sekundarni amin koji se nalazi u odjeći može izazvati rak mokraćnog mjehura ili materice u slučaju da je dugo u kontaktu s kožom. Opasne tvari, osim odjeće, kriju i bočice i igračke. Ništa bolja situacija nije ni sa šminkom. Tako je u olovkama za oči pronađena toksična količina olova, teškog metala koji ozbiljno može narušiti zdravlje, dok su u nekim sjenama kineske proizvodnje pronađeni mikroorganizmi koji mogu izazvati infekcije. Djeca su naročito podložna trovanju olovom koji može izazvati anemiju, probleme s bubrezima, pa čak i oštećenje mozga.

Elisa

From real résumés and cover letters

'I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.'
'I have lurnt Word for Widows, computor operations and spreasheet progroms.'
'I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.'
'Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.'
'Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.'
'Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.'
'It's best for employers that I not work with people.'
'Let's meet , so you can ' ooh' and ' aah' over my experience.'
'You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.'
'Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.'
'I was working for my mom until she decided to move.'
'Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.'
'I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.'

'I am loyal to my employer at all costs....Please feel free to respond to my résumé on my office voice mail.'
'I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing. '
'My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training n meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.'

Robot-San

Japanski naucnici su predstavili najnoviji primjerak humanoidnog robota, koji može raditi i po najjačem pljusku i to najzahtjevnije zadatke. Robot "HRP-3 Promet MK-II", koji izgleda kao da je upravo izišao iz japanskog naucno-fantastičnog filma, visok je 1,60 metara i težak 68 kilograma. Može se kretati na uzvisinama i pjeskovitoj površini ili podnositi najjaci pljusak te nastaviti neometano raditi.
Robota, koji se odlikuje visokim postotkom pokretnosti (42 stepena), zajednički su razvile Kawada Industries, Kawasaki Heavy Industries (KHI) i Nacionalni institut za naprednu industrijsku nauku i tehnologiju.Nadaju da će ga oko 2010. prodavati građevinskim kompanijama po cijeni od $130,000. Japan, čije stanovništvo brzo stari, aktivno radi na razvoju čitave vojske robota strahujući od nedostatka radne snage u budućnosti, posebno za poslove koji su visoko rizični.

XYu - Buldozer

16 year olds

GCE O-Levels:
Q: Name the four seasons.-A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.-A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes largepollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?-A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?-A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?-A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?-A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: What are steroids?-A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?-A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.-A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?-A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised?-A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?-A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?-A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?-A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."-A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?-A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?-A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?-A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.-A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. {do dishes}
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?-A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q : What is a turbine?-A : Something an Arab wears on his head.

Sta cu jadna u Saraj'vu sama...

Vujisic & Aligrudic

One liners

*I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
*A fool is a 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work.
*If all is not lost, where is it?
*The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
*It was all so different before everything changed.
*It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
*Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
*An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
*A closed mouth gathers no feet.
*It's not hard to meet expenses...they' re everywhere.

Najmladji clan Mense

Djevojčica stara dvije godine i 10 mjeseci, s koeficijentom inteligencije 152, postala je najmlađa članica britanskog instituta Mensa. Georgia Brown iz Aldershota sa juga Engleske, primljena je u klub nakon procjene dječjeg psihologa, koji je bio "oduševljen" njezinim rezultatima, neočekivanima za dijete mlađe od pet do šest godina. Georgia nije, međutim, najmlađa osoba koja je pristupila klubu. Šest dana je starija od Bena Woodsa, koji je učlanjen u Mensu 1990.-ih godina.

Krema od marihuane

Prije stotinu godina u apotekama se mogla kupiti "bakina" mast s ekstraktom marihuane kao kućni lijek za ekceme i druge alergijske reakcije kože, no poslije je povučena s tržišta jer se smatralo da je riječ o prevari.Njemački naucnici sada su utvrdili da marihuana stvarno smanjuje svrab i oticanje kod alergijskih reakcija kože te su zatražili ponovnu procjenu starog bakinog lijeka. Ekstrakte konoplje tradicionalno se koristilo za liječenje upala i moglo ih se kupiti u apotekama početkom 20. vijeka. No sumnje u djelotvornost netestiranog proizvoda, zajedno s bojazni od kemikalije THC koja izaziva halucinogene efekte, doveli su do njihove zabrane 1930-ih.
Krema, cokolada... je li neko probao caj?

Cavalleria Rusticana

FASCINATING PEOPLE, Part 13.

Florence Nightingale is most remembered as a pioneer of nursing and a reformer of hospital sanitation methods. She pushed for reform of the British military health-care system and with that the profession of nursing started to gain the respect it deserved. Her use of new techniques of statistical analysis, such as during the Crimean War when she plotted the incidence of preventable deaths in the military, she developed the "polar-area diagram" to dramatize the needless deaths caused by unsanitary conditions and the need for reform. With her analysis, Florence Nightingale revolutionized the idea that social phenomena could be objectively measured and subjected to mathematical analysis. She was an innovator in the collection, tabulation, interpretation, and graphical display of descriptive statistics. She contributed to reform of hospitals (amazing considering that most women of her age did not attend universities or pursue professional careers). She spoke Italian, Latin, Greek, learned history, and mathematics. When her sanitary reform was implemented, the mortality rate declined.

LEGENDE BH & EX-YU SPORTA, Part 13.

Miroslav Cerar je četrnaest godina dominirao gimnastičkim dvoranama u Jugoslaviji. Prvo je bio juniorski prvak Jugoslavije u višeboju, a zatim 13 puta uzastopno seniorski šampion u višeboju. Prvu medalju na svjetskoj sceni osvojio je na Svjetskom prvenstvu u Moskvi 1958. na konju sa hvataljkama, spravi po kojoj će ga cio svijet prepoznavati i uvažavati. I posljednju zlatnu medalju u karijeri osvojio je na konju sa hvataljkama na Svjetskom prvenstvu u Ljubljani 1970. Na Olimpijskim igrama učestvovao je tri puta (1960, 1964. i 1968) i osvojio dvije zlatne i jednu bronzanu medalju. Na svetskim šampionatima osvojio je šest medalja (četiri zlatne na konju sa hvataljkama), a na evropskim prvenstvima 21 medalju (10 zlatnih). U medjunarodnu kucu slavnih primljen je 1999.

Mrs.Johnny Depp - Vanessa Paradis

Daily Affirmations

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."
I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
Joan of Arc heard voices too.
When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.
The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find someone.
I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.
I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Mummies on the road

Sudanska policija uhvatila je 12 osoba osumnjičenih da su iz zemlje krijumčarili starine, među kojima i dvije mumije (?). Sudan je "domovina" drevne nubijske civilizacije i ima više piramida nego susjedni Egipat, ali je na njihovom arheološkom istraživanju učinjeno jako malo. Najposjećenije sudanske piramide su na području Meroe na sjeveru zemlje uz rijeku Nil i nastale su oko 300. godine p.n.e.
Ova slika nema veze sa pricom, ali provocira razne misli...

Cure

Pick up lines from classic movies

I like older men. They’re so grateful, Karin – in “Two-Faced Woman” with Greta Garbo and Melvyn Douglas
Let’s go somewhere we can be alone. Ah, there doesn’t seem to be anyone on this couch, S. Quentin Quale in “Go West” with Groucho Marx and June Maccloy
Marry me, and I’ll never look at another horse, Dr. Hackenbush – in “A Day at the Races,” with Groucho Marx and Margaret Dumont
What’s the matter with me? I’m gay, I’m loveable, and I’ve got good teeth, Carey in “June Bride” with Robert Montgomery and Bette Davis
Give me a kiss ort I’ll sock you, Frank in “The Postman Always Rings Twice” with John Garfield and Lana Turner
Let’s go in my room and talk the situation over, Otis. What situation? Mrs. Claypool. Well…what situations have you got? Otis in “A Night at the Opera” with Groucho Marx and Margaret Dumont
I’d love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair, Madge in “Cabin in the Cotton” with Bette Davis and Richard Barthelmess

A osim krvi...ko zna?

U posljednjih trideset godina u nekoliko navrata američki istraživači su uzimali krv indijanskog plemena Karitiana (Brazil, zapadni Amazon) obećavajući u zamjenu za krv lijekove. Dolaskom interneta na područje plemena Karitiana, šokirani su saznali da su uzorci njihove krvi i DNA bili prodati naucnicima sirom svijeta po 85$ po uzorku. Karitiana pleme koje preživljava baveći se lovom, ribolovom i poljoprivredom sada zahtijeva da se distribucija uzoraka prekine i da dobiju kompenzaciju od Coriell Cell Repositories, naucnog centra s najvećom kolekcijom ljudskih uzoraka DNA. Brazilska vlada je zatražila pomoć Interpola da intervenise u prodaji ilegalno dobivenih uzoraka krvi i DNA materijala. Karitiani smatraju da su bili prevareni. Američki istraživači su iskoristili njihovo neznanje o zapadnjačkoj civilizaciji i kapitalističkoj ekonomiji. Male, izolirane i čvrsto povezane zajednice koje su vijekovima živjele neometane s malim prilivom novog genetskog materijala su upravo zbog tih činjenica savršeni za istraživanje genetskog materijala i praćenje bolesti koje se pojavljuju kao i istraživanje zašto su indijanska plemena otporna na razne bolesti koje pogađaju ljude u ostatku svijeta (?).

Latest - Art

Lots of good paintings being sold in London recently...Claude Monet's Nympheas sold for $28 mil, Francis Bacon's self-portrait $18 mil, and big surprise - the 1992 portrait of Lucian Freud's friend Bruce Bernard (left) - estimated to fetch $8 mil, was sold for almost $12 mil. and was part of a sale of post-war and contemporary art.

(Try) Walking in my shoes

Svjetska bastina

UN-ova organizacija za obrazovanje, nauku i kulturu, UNESCO, u svjetski registar jos od 1997. upisuje dokumentarne materijale od "univerzalnog značaja". Ove godine su vec postojecim 120 naslova dodati dokumenti procesa vodjenog protiv Nelson Mandele, dokumentacija argentinske diktature i Carobnjak iz Oza. Proces jos traje oko Ingmara Bergmana, dokumentacije Alfreda Nobela, kolekcije kolonijalne muzike XVI-XVIII vijeka u latinskoj Americi, dokumentacije australskih robijasa, tapiserija iz Bayeuxa (francuska 70 metara duga izvezena freska iz XI vijeka koja prikazuje Williama Osvajača u pohodima na Englesku 1066.godine).

Confucius Says ...

*Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
*Man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.
*Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*War do not determine who right, war determine who left.
*Squirrel who run up woman's leg not find nuts.
*If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
*Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.

Quotes:

Robin Williams- Spielberg is so powerful he had final cut at his own circumsision.

Albert Einstein - Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

Charles Dickens- I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together.

Benjamin Franklin-Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Nothing else matters

Old, but good ones from Maya Angelou

*I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
*I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
*I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
*I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'.
*I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
*I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.
*I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
*I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
*I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
*I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Joe Arpaio

He is the Maricopa, Arizona county sheriff and keeps getting elected over and over. Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the "Tent City Jail".He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails.Took away their weights,cut off all but "G" movies.He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.He took away cable TV until he found out there was a Federal Court Order that required cable TV for jails.So he hooked up the cable TV again only let in the Disney Channel And The Weather Channel.When asked why the weather channel he replied:so they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back." With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix about 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts. Hundreds of men wearing boxers are either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 58C inside the week before. Many are also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their pink socks."It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace," said James Zanzot,an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It's inhumane." Joe Arpaio said: "It's 48C in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear,but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Shaft

TIME TO JOIN E-MAILERS ANONYMOUS

*You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom, and check your email on the way back to bed.
*You turn off your modem and are suddenly filled with a feeling of emptiness, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
*You spend half of a plane trip with your laptop in your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
*You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
*You find yourself typing "com" after every period.com
*You move into a new home and decide to netscape before you landscape.
*You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

Umalo...

Ratni ministar unutrasnjih poslova B&H, Bakir Alispahić, uspio je od Ministarstva poljoprivrede Federacije i Ministarstva zdravstva dobiti za svoju firmu dozvolu za uvoz 10.000 pakovanja ledenog čaja s ekstraktom marihuane (C'ICE SWIS CANNABIS ICE TEA ). Jedno pakovanje sadrži preko 5% sirupa od pupoljaka kanabisa i njegovog ekstrakta. Carinici su ga svrstali pod tarifnu oznaku koja se daje proizvodima koji u sebi sadrže vodu sa šećerom ili drugim aromama. Medjutim, EUFOR je blokirao carinsko skladište u Sarajevu u kojem je smješteno 40.000 konzervi od 250 ml caja, a uzorke je poslao na analizu u dva nezavisna laboratorija...

Demokratski...

Policijske službe i Obavještajno-sigurnosna agencija (OSA) BiH uskoro će moći prisluškivati sve telefonske razgovore u fiksnoj i mobilnoj mreži, čitati SMS i e-mail poruke, potvrdio je Mijo Krešić, zamjenik ministra sigurnosti BiH: Imamo sve zakonske preduslove. Uskoro ćemo instalisati najsofisticiraniju opremu za zakonito presretanje telekomunikacija. Jedan centar će biti smješten u Državnoj agenciji za istrage i zaštitu BiH, a koristiće ga sve policijske strukture u BiH, drugi će biti u OSA i koristit će se samo za potrebe ove agencije. Ovu najsavremeniju prislušnu opremu poklonice im Europska komisija i Velika Britanija.

E bas vam hvala...

Shape of my heart

When insults had class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral,but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill... followed by Churchill's response:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." - Winston Churchill
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself;he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!" Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"

Goldmember

Saddam Hussein je stvarno bio čovjek od zlatnog kalašnjikova. Australski Ratni muzej primio je zlatnu pušku Tabuk – irački ekvivalent poluautomatske puške AK-47 – od australske vojske, koja ju je dobila od američkih snaga u znak "zahvalnosti" za ucestvovanje u ratu.Pušku su pronašli pripadnici 101. divizije američkog ratnog vazduhoplovstva tokom čišćenja zgrada oko sjevernoiračkog grada Kirkuka.

XYu - Cesarica

Mysterious language of science

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"... I didn't look up the original reference.
"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"... These data are practically meaningless.
"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The other results didn't make any sense.
"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"... This is the prettiest graph.
"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
"IN MY EXPERIENCE"... Once
"IN CASE AFTER CASE"... Twice
"IN A SERIES OF CASES"... Thrice
"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"... I think.
"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"... A couple of others think so, too.
"IT MIGHT BE ARGUED THAT" ... I have such a good answer for this objection that I now raise it. [Thanks to Brendan Keefe.]
"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"... Wrong.
"ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumour has it.
"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"... A wild guess.
"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't understand it
"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it either.
"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOGGS FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"... Mr. Bloggs did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS WILL STIMULATE FURTHER WORK IN THIS FIELD" ... This paper isn't very good, but neither are any others on this miserable subject. [Thanks to Brendan Keefe.]
"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER 1NVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"... I quit.

Jos jedan smak svijeta

Isaac Newton je predvidio je da će se kraj svijeta dogoditi 2060. godine,a podatak se bazira na rukopisima slavnoga fizičara koji su u nedjelju predstavljeni na Jevrejskom Fakultetu u Jeruzalemu.
Newtonove zabilješke prvi su put prikazane u javnosti od 1969., u sklopu izložbe organizovane pod nazivom "Newtonove tajne".U pismu iz 1704. Isaac Newton, engleski fizičar i astronom, zaljubljenik u teologiju i alkemiju, jedan je dio posvetio proracunu kraja svijeta na temelju biblijskog fragmenta iz knjige Danijelove.
U posjedu knjižare Fakulteta nalazi se još niz rukopisa slavnog znanstvenika, puno poznatijeg po racionalnim otkrićima (teorija zemljine gravitacije).

Komunizam i renesansa

Daniel Ortega je treći latinoamerički socijalistički predsjednik koji je u manje od dvije nedjelje posjetio Fidela Castra tokom njegova oporavka. Castro se nedavno susreo i s venezuelanskim predsjednikom Hugom Chavezom i bolivijskim predsjednikom Evom Moralesom.Tema sastanka s Ortegom bila je uglavnom podrška nikaragvanskim naporima da unaprijede energetsku mrežu, ali i globalno otopljenje.Kuba, Venezuela, Bolivija i Nikaragva sklopile su savezništvo nazvano Bolivarska alternativa za Amerike (ALBA). Njihova organizacija protivi se američkoj vanjskoj politici u regiji.Savezništvo je nazvano prema borcu za nezavisnost iz 19.vijeka Simonu Bolivaru.
Tvrdi se da se zdravstveno stanje 80-godišnjeg Castra znatno poboljšalo tokom posljednjih par mjeseci. Njegova bolest i lokacija su državna tajna.

Emily Haines

Protesti Indijanaca

Kanadske vlasti pokušavaju ušutkati glasove za prava urođenika na zemlju. Sve ide prema tome da će 29.juna biti protesti sirom zemlje. Slušajući Shawna Branta, taj bi dan mogao biti i nešto drugo: opsti dan akcije za prava kanadskih urođenika.Nakon što je grupa Mohawk Indijanaca iz rezervata Tyendinaga nedavno blokirala željezničku prugu između Kingstona i Toronta, Brant se predao policiji Ontarija. Brandt je postao simbol nove ratobornosti koja se širi urođeničkim zajednicama u Kanadi. On kaze - kako vrijeme prolazi, zemlja nestaje. Šume se sijeku, planine smanjuju, predgrađa se šire. Pregovori samo pridonose stvarnom gubitku zemlje. Kamenolom u zaljevu Quinte nalazi se na zemlji koju Mohawk Indijanci nikada nisu ustupili, to je činjenica koju je priznala i federalna vlada. Jedino je pitanje kakvu će kompenzaciju uzeti za lopovluk. Problem se pojavio zato što su za vrijeme dok su dvije strane razgovarale, kamioni odvozili 10,000 pošiljaka novo iskopanog šljunka iz kamenoloma svake godine – procijenjeno je da su ukupno odvezli oko 100,000 tona. Dok su pregovarali o zemlji, zemlja je nestajala. Dok stručnjaci razgovaraju zemlja se odvozi, a dovozi se toksičan otpad.Konačna uvreda stigla je kada je federalna vlast predložila budžet sa gotovo ničim novim što bi popravilo siromaštvo Prvih Naroda. To je potaknulo vođu Skupštine Prvih Naroda, Phila Fontainea, da za 29. juna sazove nacionalni dan akcije. Iako Fontaine ne poziva na blokade, mnogi prvi narodi ih već planiraju sirom zemlje, razgovarajući o koordiniranom ciljanju na ključne infrastrukture, od željeznice do cesta. Ideja je ista kao opsti štrajk, objašnjava Brant s osmijehom.
Taj dan će urođenici djelovati, a mi ostali kukati o zakašnjelim vozovima i saobracajnim zastojima.

Priznanje Berberu

Slikar Mersad Berber proglašen je počasnim članom Ruske akademije umjetnosti. Ceremonija primanja u članstvo Akademije održana je prije par dana u Moskvi u okviru svečanosti obilježavanja 250. godišnjice osnivanja te akademije.Sama proslava godisnjice uvrštena je u 63 svečana datuma u čijem obilježavanju ucestvuje i UNESCO.

Podrska Feralu

Gradjani Medveščaka su organizovali potpisivanje peticije kojom izražavaju svoju podrsku poznatom političkom i kulturnom tjedniku Feral Tribune.
Feral Tribune je morao zaustaviti izlaženje zbog finansijskih dugova. U gotovo 15 godina izlaženja pokazao se kao primjer nezavisnog novinarstva za što su dobili mnoge međunarodne nagrade.
Građani mogu uplatiti svoj novac na žiroračun Feral Tribune i tako pomoći smanjenju pola miliona duga.

Easy

Things I learned from movies

1. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
2. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
3. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
4. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
5. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
6. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
7. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
8. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
9. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
10. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
11. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

Sade

Bloopers

Actual student bloopers collected by teachers:
*The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
*Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
*Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
*The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
*Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
*Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
*Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
*Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
*Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
*Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
*In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
*Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
*It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
*The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
*Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.
*Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
*Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.
*The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
*Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
*The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.
*Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
*The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

Europa za pravo na privatnost

Od 2004. Europski parlament se nateze s americkim Departmentom of Homeland Security (DHS) oko broja informacija koje tajne agencije prikupljaju o putnicima na prekookeanskim letovima. Black budget agencije znaju tridesetak informacija o svakom putniku (istoriju letova koje je putnik propustio, čime se hranio, mjesto na kome je sjedio, broj kilometara provedenih u letu… ili takve 'vitalne informacije', kakva je putnikova e-mail adresa).
Iz tih informacija može se konstruisati prilično iscrpan licni profil koji se dodiruje takvih privatnih pitanja kakva su rasna ili etnička pripadnost, politička mišljenja, religijska ili filozofska uvjerenja, pripadnost sindikatima, zdravstveno stanje ili informacije o seksualnom životu...
Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF),organizacija za odbranu 'digitalnih prava', podnijela prijavu protiv DHS-a po pitanju ko točno može pristupiti proslijeđenim informacijama,te kako i gdje se one cuvaju.Informacije se čuvaju četrdeset godina i proslijeđjene su nepoznatom broju federalnih, državnih, lokalnih i stranih agencija.
- Vlada se priprema dati 'ocjenu rizika' vezanu za milione građana, procjenu koja će ih označiti do kraja života – rekao je EFF-ov viši savjetnik David Sobel. Niko neće biti u prilici saznati informacije o 'ocjeni' ili osporiti njenu tačnost. Bruce Schneider,specijalista za sigurnost je rekao:
- Postoji nešto ne-američko vezano uz vladin program koji koristi tajne kriterije kako bi sastavljao dosijee o nedužnim građanima i potom te dosijee prosljeđivao raznovrsnim agencijama, sve to bez ikakvog nadzora. Takvu stvar bi očekivao od bivšeg Sovjetskog Saveza ili Istočne Njemačke ili Kine. Sve to ne čini nas nimalo sigurnijima od terorizma.

Focus

Movie quotes

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. - Groucho Marx (Duck Soup)
All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work. - Steve Martin (Bilko)
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love. - Woody Allen (Annie Hall)
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I. - Bill Murray (What about Bob)
You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater. - Mike Myers (Austin Powers: Goldmember)
You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music - Jim Carrey
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. - Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! - Eddie Murphy (Shrek)

Konfliktne vrijednosti

Francuski predsjednik Nicolas Sarkozy se zalaže za kvote koje će odrediti koliko imigranata može ući u zemlju te koje obrazovanje i zanimanje moraju imati, a uveo je i stroge mjere prema njima (selekcija, praćenje i sl. ). Njegov otac je kao mađarski imigrant došao u Francusku. Pál Sárközy de Nagy-Bócsa dobio je francusko državljanstvo nakon sto je dugo imao status ''osobe bez državljanstva''. Sarkozyjeva žena Cécilia Ciganer-Albeniz je iz špansko-jevrejske porodice i nema francuskih predaka. Sarkozy je nekoliko puta u svojim govorima isticao kako djecu ne bi trebalo odgajati u strogo republikanskom duhu niti odvajati religiju i državu. Njegova majka Andree Mallah je Jevrejka koja je prešla na katoličanstvo.
Dick Cheney, američki potpredsjednik, želi ustavom zabraniti bilo kakve istopolne zajednice, a ima kćer lezbejku. Mary je u dugogodišnjoj vezi sa svojom partnericom i nedavno su dobile dijete. Otac i kći imaju izvrstan odnos, kako poslovni tako i privatni.

Pripadnik hrvatske ekstremne desnice Mladen Schwartz u jednoj osobi objedinjuje Jevreja i nacistu. On porice holokaust i tvrdi da u Drugom svjetskom ratu nije ubijeno 6 miliona Jevreja već ''samo'' njih 300,000. Schwartz nosi dužnost predsjednika Jevrejskog odbora za slobodnu Hrvatsku i predsjednika stranke Hrvatske nove desnice.