Monday, March 31, 2008
They call it Poetry
James Grainger (1721-67):
...Come, muse, let us sing of rats...
Adam Lindsay Gordon (1833-67):
Flash! flash! bang! bang! and we blazed away,
And the grey roof reddened and rang;
Flash! flash! and I felt his bullet flay
The tip of my ear. Flash! bang!
John Armstrong (1709-79):
...that which Cestria sends, tenacious paste
of solid milk...
John Bidlake (1755-1814):
The sluggard carrot sleeps his day in bed
The cripples pea alone cannot stand.
George Crabbe (1754-1832):
And I was ask'd and authorised to go
To seek the firm of Clutterbuck and Co.
William Balmford:
So 'tis with Christians, Nature being weak
While in this world, are liable to leak.
William Wordsworth:
I've measured it from side to side;
Tis three feet long, and two feet wide.
Margaret Cavendish:
What is liquid?
All that doth flow we cannot liquid name
Or else would fire and water be the same;
But that is liquid which is moist and wet
Fire that property can never get
Then 'tis not cold that doth the fire put out.
But 'tis the wet that makes it die, no doubt.
.
...Come, muse, let us sing of rats...
Adam Lindsay Gordon (1833-67):
Flash! flash! bang! bang! and we blazed away,
And the grey roof reddened and rang;
Flash! flash! and I felt his bullet flay
The tip of my ear. Flash! bang!
John Armstrong (1709-79):
...that which Cestria sends, tenacious paste
of solid milk...
John Bidlake (1755-1814):
The sluggard carrot sleeps his day in bed
The cripples pea alone cannot stand.
George Crabbe (1754-1832):
And I was ask'd and authorised to go
To seek the firm of Clutterbuck and Co.
William Balmford:
So 'tis with Christians, Nature being weak
While in this world, are liable to leak.
William Wordsworth:
I've measured it from side to side;
Tis three feet long, and two feet wide.
Margaret Cavendish:
What is liquid?
All that doth flow we cannot liquid name
Or else would fire and water be the same;
But that is liquid which is moist and wet
Fire that property can never get
Then 'tis not cold that doth the fire put out.
But 'tis the wet that makes it die, no doubt.
.
"Honor" over Truth
Italy's highest appeals court ruled that it is not illegal for a woman to lie in a police investigation if the reason is to cover up her adulterous affair. Court said that her honor is more important than providing intimate information about her lover.
Yeay for smart Italian women (no double standard here whatsoever)!
Yeay for smart Italian women (no double standard here whatsoever)!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Idol # 7
David Cook had a band called Axium. Look it up.
However - here are a couple of his excellent covers on Idol, worth listening:
Hello
Billy Jean
Carly Smithson (former Hennessy) had two singles earlier.
Here's her cover of Crazy On You.
How do they do it in ex-Yu? Take a look.
Crotian Idol
Serbian Idol
Re-cap of your 6 Idols:
season 1: Kelly Clarkson (still going strong)
season 2: Ruben Studard ( kinda quiet now...was a good Idol, though)
season 3: Fantasia Barrino (turned to musicles...was fantastic Idol)
season 4: Carrie Underwood (a country star...even has a one good song)
season 5: Taylor Hicks (where's this fella? Katherine, Chris & Elliot are shmoozing around, but not Taylor...)
season 6: Jordin Sparks (I don't expect to see her ever again. Melinda should have won...)
.
However - here are a couple of his excellent covers on Idol, worth listening:
Hello
Billy Jean
Carly Smithson (former Hennessy) had two singles earlier.
Here's her cover of Crazy On You.
How do they do it in ex-Yu? Take a look.
Crotian Idol
Serbian Idol
Re-cap of your 6 Idols:
season 1: Kelly Clarkson (still going strong)
season 2: Ruben Studard ( kinda quiet now...was a good Idol, though)
season 3: Fantasia Barrino (turned to musicles...was fantastic Idol)
season 4: Carrie Underwood (a country star...even has a one good song)
season 5: Taylor Hicks (where's this fella? Katherine, Chris & Elliot are shmoozing around, but not Taylor...)
season 6: Jordin Sparks (I don't expect to see her ever again. Melinda should have won...)
.
No idea is stupid...
According to Edison, to create a good invention you need imagination and a pile of junk (he should know...). Here are a couple of simple ideas worth billions.
*Jeff Bezos had the idea of selling books on the internet. Saving on storage and wide spaces (book shops) helped him sell books at lower prices and the result was a richness of 4.4 billion dollars. That idea is called Amazon.com.
*The idea of the son of Russian immigrants was to add a sticker of a horse to a normal polo t-shirt and sell it for 50 dollars a piece, and the final result is a richness of 5 billion dollars. This man is Ralph Lauren who worked in a department store for Brooks Brothers. He borrowed 50,000 dollars and launched “Polo”. In 1994 he sold 28% of the incomes of the company and earned 138 million dollars. Presently Lauren’s fortune amounts 5 billion dollars.
*A drink that contains caffeine and carbonate with a lot of vitamin B, and launching it on the market for sportsmen and party lovers was a success. Yoovidhya and Mateschitz created Red Bull and addressed it to young people buy using bold adverts and extreme spots. Red Bull is the owner of a Formula 1 team and two football clubs: the Red Bull Salzburg and the New York Red Bulls. The value of their richness is 3 billion dollars, each.
*Jeff Bezos had the idea of selling books on the internet. Saving on storage and wide spaces (book shops) helped him sell books at lower prices and the result was a richness of 4.4 billion dollars. That idea is called Amazon.com.
*The idea of the son of Russian immigrants was to add a sticker of a horse to a normal polo t-shirt and sell it for 50 dollars a piece, and the final result is a richness of 5 billion dollars. This man is Ralph Lauren who worked in a department store for Brooks Brothers. He borrowed 50,000 dollars and launched “Polo”. In 1994 he sold 28% of the incomes of the company and earned 138 million dollars. Presently Lauren’s fortune amounts 5 billion dollars.
*A drink that contains caffeine and carbonate with a lot of vitamin B, and launching it on the market for sportsmen and party lovers was a success. Yoovidhya and Mateschitz created Red Bull and addressed it to young people buy using bold adverts and extreme spots. Red Bull is the owner of a Formula 1 team and two football clubs: the Red Bull Salzburg and the New York Red Bulls. The value of their richness is 3 billion dollars, each.
College - yes or no?
Samuel Beckett: Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.
W. H. Auden: Definition of a College professor: someone who talks in other people's sleep.
Ruby Wax: College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
Bill Vaughn: Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income-which he then spends sending his son to college.
G. K. Chesterson: Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
Mike Barfield: An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order.
George Bernard Shaw: He who can does - he who cannot, teaches.
Mark Twain: I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
Albert Einstein: Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Robert Frost: College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Gohen: If you feel that you have both feet planted on solid ground, then the university has failed you.
Elbert Hubbard: You can lead a boy to college, but you can't make him think.
Anonymous: If all the students who slept through lectures were laid end to end, they'd all be a lot more comfortable.
W. H. Auden: Definition of a College professor: someone who talks in other people's sleep.
Ruby Wax: College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
Bill Vaughn: Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income-which he then spends sending his son to college.
G. K. Chesterson: Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
Mike Barfield: An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order.
George Bernard Shaw: He who can does - he who cannot, teaches.
Mark Twain: I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
Albert Einstein: Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Robert Frost: College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Gohen: If you feel that you have both feet planted on solid ground, then the university has failed you.
Elbert Hubbard: You can lead a boy to college, but you can't make him think.
Anonymous: If all the students who slept through lectures were laid end to end, they'd all be a lot more comfortable.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Danube swimming
After a record holder Milorad Cavic collected gold for the 50-meter butterfly on Wednesday and then wore a T-shirt proclaiming "Kosovo is Serbia" at a medal presentation ceremony, he was suspended from further participation in individual events at the European swimming championships. The Serbian swimming federation was also fined $10,800.
Milorad said "I didn't do it to provoke anger, I didn't do it to provoke violence. The country is torn apart and ... my goal was just to uplift them."
Was the decision right - you be the judge.
Warning, maybe... definitely a fine $...
Alternate slogans that would have worked:
Free Tibet
Independent Kosovo
Kosovo is not Serbia any more
Free Willy
No nukes
Adio, Roko!
Boris Dvornik died at the age of 69 from a stroke.
He has made more than 40 movies and left an in-erasable mark in ex-Yu television and theatre.
Boris was born in Split in 1939. He started acting at the age of 8. Graduated from the High School of Acting in Novi Sad, after which he enrolled at Zagreb’s Theatre Academy. He gained popularity with his first movie “Deveti krug” that launched him to the top of Yugoslav acting scene. He left his biggest mark in television series ‘Malo misto’, ‘Velo misto’, ‘Roko I Cicibela’ and ‘Kapelski kresovi’. His character Roko is the most popular character in the region, a stubborn Dalmatian who always has a comment and can never keep his mouth shut.
Boris had a special relationship with Bata Zivojinovic. The two Yugoslav acting giants used to be great friends for years, only to have a public fight in the early 1990s. Their feud lasted throughout the decade and it ended only recently.
He has made more than 40 movies and left an in-erasable mark in ex-Yu television and theatre.
Boris was born in Split in 1939. He started acting at the age of 8. Graduated from the High School of Acting in Novi Sad, after which he enrolled at Zagreb’s Theatre Academy. He gained popularity with his first movie “Deveti krug” that launched him to the top of Yugoslav acting scene. He left his biggest mark in television series ‘Malo misto’, ‘Velo misto’, ‘Roko I Cicibela’ and ‘Kapelski kresovi’. His character Roko is the most popular character in the region, a stubborn Dalmatian who always has a comment and can never keep his mouth shut.
Boris had a special relationship with Bata Zivojinovic. The two Yugoslav acting giants used to be great friends for years, only to have a public fight in the early 1990s. Their feud lasted throughout the decade and it ended only recently.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Those resumes...
Resume Mistakes:
*Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
*Education: College, August 1880-May 1984.
*Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.
*Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.
*I'm a rabid typist.
*Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.
Personal Qualities
*I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.
*I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability.
*Number of dependents: 40.
*Marital Status: Often. Children: Various.
*I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.
Special Requests
*Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
*Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
*Education: College, August 1880-May 1984.
*Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.
*Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.
*I'm a rabid typist.
*Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.
Personal Qualities
*I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.
*I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability.
*Number of dependents: 40.
*Marital Status: Often. Children: Various.
*I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.
Special Requests
*Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Elections' Quotes
"I started out as thinking 'This would be funny, why don't I run?' But then I discovered I really wanted to do it. I want to show that you can do porn and it doesn't mean you are stupid".
Mary (Mary Carey) Cook, Nonpartisan Adult Film Actress
"It doesn't matter if you are a Democrat or Republican, If you're young or old, what the racial thing is, nothing matters to me. To me what matters is that I want to represent everyone in California. That is the important thing."
Arnold Schwarzanegger, Republican Actor
And the MAN himself:
"They misunderestimated me." —George W. Bush
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." —George W. Bush
"This is an impressive crowd. The haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base" —George W. Bush.
"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century." —George W. Bush, reflecting on the Lewinsky scandal.
"The idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous." —George W. Bush
"Public speaking is very easy."
Mary (Mary Carey) Cook, Nonpartisan Adult Film Actress
"It doesn't matter if you are a Democrat or Republican, If you're young or old, what the racial thing is, nothing matters to me. To me what matters is that I want to represent everyone in California. That is the important thing."
Arnold Schwarzanegger, Republican Actor
And the MAN himself:
"They misunderestimated me." —George W. Bush
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." —George W. Bush
"This is an impressive crowd. The haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base" —George W. Bush.
"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century." —George W. Bush, reflecting on the Lewinsky scandal.
"The idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous." —George W. Bush
"Public speaking is very easy."
Honouring Clarke
Sir Arthur C. Clarke (90), a Sci-fi pioneer, writer and visionary , best known for his novel "2001: A Space Odyssey" has died. He wrote more than 80 books and hundreds of short stories and articles. In the 1940s Clarke predicted that man would reach the moon by the year 2000, an idea that experts dismissed as nonsense. Clarke recorded a farewell message to his friends, saying in part that he would have liked to see evidence of extraterrestrial life during his lifetime.
During WWII he had served as a radar specialist in the Royal Air Force. Then he became involved in the British Interplanetary Society, where he proposed an idea for geostationary satellites as telecommunications relays...
Arthur's famous quotes:
*It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
*Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
*The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
*It may be that the old astrologers had the truth exactly reversed, when they believed that the stars controlled the destinies of men. The time may come when men control the destinies of stars.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Happy St.Patrick's Day!
It's time to
Paint the town green,
Drink beer with friends,
Crack jokes,
Gorge on lip-smacking Irish delicacies,
Pin shamrocks on hats and shoulders,
Kiss the Blarney Stone (even if it is virtual),
Join the parade and do a jig with the Irish bands,
Hunt for Paddy the Leprechaun and get to your pot of gold,
Cry out "Erin go bragh" every so often, and wish good luck to all,
Let your hair down and enjoy yourself
'cause everybody is Irish on St.Patrick's Day!
Going 3D?
Lane Jensen, Edmonton (Alberta) tattoo artist augmented the inked caricature of a buxom cowgirl on his own left calf with silicone "implants" in the skin under where the woman's breasts are. However, within two weeks, the fluid went astray and had to be drained. Jensen said some bodies just reject breast implants (!). His girl just wasn't meant to have 3D breasts...
Job Ads Interpretation
Competitive salary We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join our fast-paced company We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely.
Must be deadline oriented You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Must be flexible On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
Some overtime required Some time each night and some time each weekend.
Duties will vary Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail We have no quality control.
Career-minded Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).
Apply in person If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
No phone calls please We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
Seeking candiates with a wide variety of experience You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
Problem-solving a must You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
Join our fast-paced company We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely.
Must be deadline oriented You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Must be flexible On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
Some overtime required Some time each night and some time each weekend.
Duties will vary Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail We have no quality control.
Career-minded Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).
Apply in person If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
No phone calls please We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
Seeking candiates with a wide variety of experience You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
Problem-solving a must You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Lovin' Tips
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other." (Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tommy, 5)
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies,and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)
THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
"It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)
ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes to long to learn." (Leo, 7)
ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE AND ROMANCE:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)
CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid good money for them." (David, 8)
CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' are on TV." (Anita, 6)
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)
PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER:
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)
SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE ?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)
WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY, "I LOVE YOU":
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)
HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS:
"You learn it right on the spot, when the 'gooshy' feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)
"It might help if you watched soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)
HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE:"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)
Don't forget your wife's name...that will mess up the love." (Roger,8)
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out." (Randy,8)
"Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other." (Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tommy, 5)
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies,and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)
THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
"It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)
ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes to long to learn." (Leo, 7)
ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE AND ROMANCE:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)
CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid good money for them." (David, 8)
CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' are on TV." (Anita, 6)
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)
PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER:
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)
SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE ?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)
WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY, "I LOVE YOU":
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)
HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS:
"You learn it right on the spot, when the 'gooshy' feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)
"It might help if you watched soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)
HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE:"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)
Don't forget your wife's name...that will mess up the love." (Roger,8)
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out." (Randy,8)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Ridiculous charges at Ryerson University
So they are charging a first-year computer engineering student, who is due at an expulsion hearing, with academic misconduct charges over a Facebook study group he started. He, along with other 146 of his classmates used the social networking site to exchange homework tips and help each other out with chemistry questions. Where educators fail - students help each other (HORRIBLE!). University administrators considered the information sharing the equivalent of cheating and slapped him with 147 counts of academic misconduct. He faces one charge for his role in setting up the group, and a charge for each of his classmates that used the site. OMG!
So he says his site is no different from tutoring and mentoring programs run by the school, or study groups who work on homework together. But when the institution cannot claim it as their own, on account of hours on their Time Sheets - not so fast! He thought he could outsmart them?
Well, honestly - this guy is going to do well in the world even without academic recognition. It is their loss, really. Had a good idea, put it to work in a well organized, to the point manner, proved to be useful - therefore favourite with the users... Right on!
So he says his site is no different from tutoring and mentoring programs run by the school, or study groups who work on homework together. But when the institution cannot claim it as their own, on account of hours on their Time Sheets - not so fast! He thought he could outsmart them?
Well, honestly - this guy is going to do well in the world even without academic recognition. It is their loss, really. Had a good idea, put it to work in a well organized, to the point manner, proved to be useful - therefore favourite with the users... Right on!
So they came up with something...
It's OURS...My Precioussss.
With oil deficiencies and Arctic ice melting faster than ever, US and Russia (moreover than Canada, Denmark and Norway that are even larger part of the Arctic Power Circle) - are looking north to a possible energy bonanza. Scramble for buried Arctic mineral wealth made more accessible by freshly melted seas could bring on a completely different kind of cold war.
The irony is that the burning of fossil fuels is at least in part responsible for the Arctic melt. And now the Arctic melt could pave the way for a 21st century rush to exploit even more fossil fuels!!! The Arctic could hold as much as one-quarter of the world's remaining undiscovered oil and gas deposits. Russia has claimed 460,000 square miles of Arctic waters, planting its flag on the ocean floor at the North Pole last summer. Afterwards, Moscow sent strategic bomber flights over the Arctic for the first time since the Cold War. Coastal nations have sovereign rights over natural resources of their continental shelves, generally recognized to reach 200 nautical miles out from their coasts. But in February, U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration released data suggesting that the continental shelf north of Alaska extends more than 100 nautical miles farther than previously presumed. Navigation rights became even more important as scientists last year reported the opening of the normally ice-choked waters of the Northwest Passage from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
With oil deficiencies and Arctic ice melting faster than ever, US and Russia (moreover than Canada, Denmark and Norway that are even larger part of the Arctic Power Circle) - are looking north to a possible energy bonanza. Scramble for buried Arctic mineral wealth made more accessible by freshly melted seas could bring on a completely different kind of cold war.
The irony is that the burning of fossil fuels is at least in part responsible for the Arctic melt. And now the Arctic melt could pave the way for a 21st century rush to exploit even more fossil fuels!!! The Arctic could hold as much as one-quarter of the world's remaining undiscovered oil and gas deposits. Russia has claimed 460,000 square miles of Arctic waters, planting its flag on the ocean floor at the North Pole last summer. Afterwards, Moscow sent strategic bomber flights over the Arctic for the first time since the Cold War. Coastal nations have sovereign rights over natural resources of their continental shelves, generally recognized to reach 200 nautical miles out from their coasts. But in February, U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration released data suggesting that the continental shelf north of Alaska extends more than 100 nautical miles farther than previously presumed. Navigation rights became even more important as scientists last year reported the opening of the normally ice-choked waters of the Northwest Passage from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
Don't have a place to live? Consider this.
Tom Hanks' movie "Terminal" was inspired by Iranian Merhan Nasseri, who lived at Paris' Charles de Gaulle airport for 18 years because of passport problems. A homeless Anthony Delaney was arrested at London's Gatwick airport in February after nearly four years' residence...
An Iranian woman, Zahra Kamalfar, was granted refugee status by the UNHCR. She took her two children, got phoney travel papers and left for Canada, via Russia and Germany. She has been living in Moscow's international airport for the last nine months...
An Iranian woman, Zahra Kamalfar, was granted refugee status by the UNHCR. She took her two children, got phoney travel papers and left for Canada, via Russia and Germany. She has been living in Moscow's international airport for the last nine months...
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Banned Video - Gnarls Barkley
Because of its strobe effects this Gnarls Barkley ( loved his Crazy ) video is banned because it "failed" the Harding Test guidelines that are suppose to prevent TV images from triggering epileptic seizures...
Yes - that was Justin Timberlake!
I guess videos with violence and obscenities did not have to undergo any tests and are much safer for the public!
Yes - that was Justin Timberlake!
I guess videos with violence and obscenities did not have to undergo any tests and are much safer for the public!
Global Competitiveness in the World (ex-Yu take)
World Economic Forum has ranked Canada as 13th. First are the US.
Slovenia is 39th, Croatia 57th, Montenegro 82nd, Serbia 91st, Macedonia 94th, Bosnia "spectacular" 106th place (what else to add here...), all amongst 131 countries.
Croatia did rank highly from tourism's point of view - on human resources and the cultural and national resources category. It has also improved in the category of rules and regulations dramatically... How long will that last? Hmmm. let's see:
"Big Oil required a pipeline through Kosovo and the poor Serbs just happened to own the wrong real estate at the wrong time. How do I know that the Kosovo action was about oil or, to be exact, about establishing a safe haven for an oil pipeline? Just recently Bill Clinton signed an historic agreement with Azerbaijan on this very matter…." "Kosovo was about oil and nothing but oil, with maybe some uranium thrown in and a dash of 'wag-the-dog.' And you thought it was to save the poor Kosovar Albanians." (Savage "The Oily Tracks Running Through Kosovo")
So if there will be any oil spills from that pipe-line, you will say good bye to the beatiful Adriatic coast of Croatia. At least from the touristic point of view...
Slovenia is 39th, Croatia 57th, Montenegro 82nd, Serbia 91st, Macedonia 94th, Bosnia "spectacular" 106th place (what else to add here...), all amongst 131 countries.
Croatia did rank highly from tourism's point of view - on human resources and the cultural and national resources category. It has also improved in the category of rules and regulations dramatically... How long will that last? Hmmm. let's see:
"Big Oil required a pipeline through Kosovo and the poor Serbs just happened to own the wrong real estate at the wrong time. How do I know that the Kosovo action was about oil or, to be exact, about establishing a safe haven for an oil pipeline? Just recently Bill Clinton signed an historic agreement with Azerbaijan on this very matter…." "Kosovo was about oil and nothing but oil, with maybe some uranium thrown in and a dash of 'wag-the-dog.' And you thought it was to save the poor Kosovar Albanians." (Savage "The Oily Tracks Running Through Kosovo")
So if there will be any oil spills from that pipe-line, you will say good bye to the beatiful Adriatic coast of Croatia. At least from the touristic point of view...
Monday, March 3, 2008
GM's finest
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I can get in through the driver's side door just fine, but I can't open the passenger's side."
HelpLine: "How did you try to open the passenger's side?"
Customer: "I pulled up on the handle, just like on the other side."
HelpLine: "People are always making that mistake. You have to push on the passenger's side. Remember, you're always moving the handle toward the left of the car. It's more consistent that way."
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I turn my windshield wipers on?"
HelpLine: "There's a little button on the radio console . . ."
Customer: "Radio console??"
HelpLine: "Yes, it's more efficient to have all the controls in one central position. Look for the one with a shape like a piece of pie on it."
Customer: "And that's the windshield wiper button? I was always wondering what that did."
HelpLine: "People are always asking that. You'd think they'd be more familiar with the principles of graphic design."
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car will go forward, but when I put it in reverse, nothing happens."
HelpLine: "What model do you have?"
Customer: "It's a brand new 1994 Mongoose."
HelpLine: "Yes, but it is a 1994R with a big R or 1994r with a small r?"
Customer: "I don't know. Let me find out and I'll call you back."
HelpLine: "Alright, but let me tell you you've probably got the small r model. You'll need to upgrade to the big R version to go in reverse."
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I just called about the car that wouldn't go in reverse."
HelpLine: "Well, yes, we get a lot of calls about that."
Customer: "It turns out I have the small r model. But I bought the one with the 'Reverse gear option'."
HelpLine: "Yes, that's the option to upgrade to a reverse gear."
Customer: "Why don't they all just come with a reverse gear in the first place?"
HelpLine: "Well, that's very difficult to do, even for our world-class engineers, and not everyone may want it. Also, it makes the car more complicated to drive. So we offer it as an option to our 'power drivers'."
Customer: "How come all the Jupiters have had it standard since 1974?"
HelpLine" "Ahem. Well, yes, they're not a market leader, they're just for people who really like working on cars. If you really want to get involved in those kind complicated details, go right ahead . . ."
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car just caught fire."
HelpLine: "I see. And what model was it?"
Customer: "1994r Mongoose."
HelpLine: "Big or small . . ."
Customer: " . . . small r."
HelpLine: "And your registration number?"
Customer: "426917-woof-271828-arf-314159-spam."
HelpLine: "And where did you buy your car?"
Customer: "Fast Eddie's Sports-o-rama in Glendale."
HelpLine: "And what was the name of the salesman?"
Customer: "I don't remember."
HelpLine: "I see. Are you sure you didn't steal this car?"
Customer: "Of course I didn't steal it!"
HelpLine: "And would you be interested in purchasing our extended service contract?"
Customer: "I can get in through the driver's side door just fine, but I can't open the passenger's side."
HelpLine: "How did you try to open the passenger's side?"
Customer: "I pulled up on the handle, just like on the other side."
HelpLine: "People are always making that mistake. You have to push on the passenger's side. Remember, you're always moving the handle toward the left of the car. It's more consistent that way."
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I turn my windshield wipers on?"
HelpLine: "There's a little button on the radio console . . ."
Customer: "Radio console??"
HelpLine: "Yes, it's more efficient to have all the controls in one central position. Look for the one with a shape like a piece of pie on it."
Customer: "And that's the windshield wiper button? I was always wondering what that did."
HelpLine: "People are always asking that. You'd think they'd be more familiar with the principles of graphic design."
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car will go forward, but when I put it in reverse, nothing happens."
HelpLine: "What model do you have?"
Customer: "It's a brand new 1994 Mongoose."
HelpLine: "Yes, but it is a 1994R with a big R or 1994r with a small r?"
Customer: "I don't know. Let me find out and I'll call you back."
HelpLine: "Alright, but let me tell you you've probably got the small r model. You'll need to upgrade to the big R version to go in reverse."
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I just called about the car that wouldn't go in reverse."
HelpLine: "Well, yes, we get a lot of calls about that."
Customer: "It turns out I have the small r model. But I bought the one with the 'Reverse gear option'."
HelpLine: "Yes, that's the option to upgrade to a reverse gear."
Customer: "Why don't they all just come with a reverse gear in the first place?"
HelpLine: "Well, that's very difficult to do, even for our world-class engineers, and not everyone may want it. Also, it makes the car more complicated to drive. So we offer it as an option to our 'power drivers'."
Customer: "How come all the Jupiters have had it standard since 1974?"
HelpLine" "Ahem. Well, yes, they're not a market leader, they're just for people who really like working on cars. If you really want to get involved in those kind complicated details, go right ahead . . ."
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car just caught fire."
HelpLine: "I see. And what model was it?"
Customer: "1994r Mongoose."
HelpLine: "Big or small . . ."
Customer: " . . . small r."
HelpLine: "And your registration number?"
Customer: "426917-woof-271828-arf-314159-spam."
HelpLine: "And where did you buy your car?"
Customer: "Fast Eddie's Sports-o-rama in Glendale."
HelpLine: "And what was the name of the salesman?"
Customer: "I don't remember."
HelpLine: "I see. Are you sure you didn't steal this car?"
Customer: "Of course I didn't steal it!"
HelpLine: "And would you be interested in purchasing our extended service contract?"
More weirdos
A Japanese man was arrested for trespassing after turning up at a high school dressed in a girl's uniform and a long wig. Thirty-nine-year-old Tetsunori Nanpei had bought the uniform over the Internet and put it on to take a stroll near the school in Saitama, north of Tokyo. When students standing outside the gates started to scream at the sight of him, he dashed inside the school grounds, hoping to blend in with the crowds of teenagers. They also screamed, forcing the man to flee, losing his wig in the process. A school clerk pursued him and stopped him at a nearby riverbank...
Is the end near?
Is the end near?
R.I.P. Jeff
Blind guitar wizard Jeff Healey of Toronto died Sunday of cancer. He was 41.
Norman Jeffrey Healey was one of Canada's premier blues and jazz musicians. Healey lost his vision as a baby to a rare form of retinal cancer and he battled the disease throughout this life. As a toddler, Healey picked up a guitar and, setting it on his knees, developed a distinct sound and playing style. His best known work came when he formed the Jeff Healey Band. Later in his career he branched into jazz, especially from the golden years of the genre in the 1920s and '30s. He released several jazz CDs. At the time of his death, Healey was about to unveil his first rock/blues CD_in eight years. Mess of Blues is scheduled to be released in Europe in March and in Canada in April.
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