Amazing Tesla

Nikola Tesla - The Missing Secrets:
Part1
Part2
Part3
Part4

Jeff Healey

Actual excuses for school

*My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
*Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
*Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.
*Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
*Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
*John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
*Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
*Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
*Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
*Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
*Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. *Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
*Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
*Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
*I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.
*Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
*Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
*My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
*Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
*Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
*Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
*Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

Neandertalac

Naucnici koji proučavaju DNK neandertalaca javljaju kako vjeruju da će uskoro moći uspjeti rekonstruisati kompletni genom neandertalskog čovjeka usprkos degradaciji DNK kroz vrijeme.
Za pokretanje ovog istraživanja zaslužni su ''Nacionalni institut zdravlja'' i ''Max Planck Society'' iz SAD-a. Oni takođe polažu velike nade i u rekonstruisanje DNK pecinskog medvjeda i mamuta. U naucnim se krugovima već godinama vodi debata o vezi između neandertalca i modernog čovjeka. Jedna skupina naucnika smatra kako je moderni čovjek zamijenio neandertalca, dok druga vjeruje kako su se dvije vrste ukrstale. Sastavljanje genoma neandertalaca koji je živio u Evropi i dijelu Azije prije 300,000 godina u doba srednjeg paleolitika, moglo bi pomoći kod rješavanja tih zagonetki. Krapinski pračovjek jedan je od glavnih predstavnika neandertalaca, a zivio je i u Vindiji kraj Varaždina.

Kineski proizvodi u B&H - PAZNJA!

Ministarstvo zdravstva BiH zakljucilo je da 20 posto kineskih igračaka i odjeće za bebe je ispod standarda, a kineske paste za zube, rastvori za sociva i šminka opasni po ljudsko zdravlje. Sanitarni inspektori na granici kontrolu vrše prvo na graničnom prelazu, a onda nasumice odaberu nekolicinu proizvoda koji se nakon toga testiraju u laboratorijima. Primarni i sekundarni amin koji se nalazi u odjeći može izazvati rak mokraćnog mjehura ili materice u slučaju da je dugo u kontaktu s kožom. Opasne tvari, osim odjeće, kriju i bočice i igračke. Ništa bolja situacija nije ni sa šminkom. Tako je u olovkama za oči pronađena toksična količina olova, teškog metala koji ozbiljno može narušiti zdravlje, dok su u nekim sjenama kineske proizvodnje pronađeni mikroorganizmi koji mogu izazvati infekcije. Djeca su naročito podložna trovanju olovom koji može izazvati anemiju, probleme s bubrezima, pa čak i oštećenje mozga.

Elisa

From real résumés and cover letters

'I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.'
'I have lurnt Word for Widows, computor operations and spreasheet progroms.'
'I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.'
'Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.'
'Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.'
'Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.'
'It's best for employers that I not work with people.'
'Let's meet , so you can ' ooh' and ' aah' over my experience.'
'You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.'
'Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.'
'I was working for my mom until she decided to move.'
'Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.'
'I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.'

'I am loyal to my employer at all costs....Please feel free to respond to my résumé on my office voice mail.'
'I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing. '
'My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training n meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.'

Robot-San

Japanski naucnici su predstavili najnoviji primjerak humanoidnog robota, koji može raditi i po najjačem pljusku i to najzahtjevnije zadatke. Robot "HRP-3 Promet MK-II", koji izgleda kao da je upravo izišao iz japanskog naucno-fantastičnog filma, visok je 1,60 metara i težak 68 kilograma. Može se kretati na uzvisinama i pjeskovitoj površini ili podnositi najjaci pljusak te nastaviti neometano raditi.
Robota, koji se odlikuje visokim postotkom pokretnosti (42 stepena), zajednički su razvile Kawada Industries, Kawasaki Heavy Industries (KHI) i Nacionalni institut za naprednu industrijsku nauku i tehnologiju.Nadaju da će ga oko 2010. prodavati građevinskim kompanijama po cijeni od $130,000. Japan, čije stanovništvo brzo stari, aktivno radi na razvoju čitave vojske robota strahujući od nedostatka radne snage u budućnosti, posebno za poslove koji su visoko rizični.

XYu - Buldozer

16 year olds

GCE O-Levels:
Q: Name the four seasons.-A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.-A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes largepollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?-A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?-A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?-A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?-A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: What are steroids?-A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?-A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.-A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?-A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised?-A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?-A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?-A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?-A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."-A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?-A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?-A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?-A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.-A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. {do dishes}
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?-A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q : What is a turbine?-A : Something an Arab wears on his head.

Sta cu jadna u Saraj'vu sama...

Vujisic & Aligrudic

One liners

*I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
*A fool is a 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work.
*If all is not lost, where is it?
*The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
*It was all so different before everything changed.
*It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
*Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
*An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
*A closed mouth gathers no feet.
*It's not hard to meet expenses...they' re everywhere.

Najmladji clan Mense

Djevojčica stara dvije godine i 10 mjeseci, s koeficijentom inteligencije 152, postala je najmlađa članica britanskog instituta Mensa. Georgia Brown iz Aldershota sa juga Engleske, primljena je u klub nakon procjene dječjeg psihologa, koji je bio "oduševljen" njezinim rezultatima, neočekivanima za dijete mlađe od pet do šest godina. Georgia nije, međutim, najmlađa osoba koja je pristupila klubu. Šest dana je starija od Bena Woodsa, koji je učlanjen u Mensu 1990.-ih godina.

Krema od marihuane

Prije stotinu godina u apotekama se mogla kupiti "bakina" mast s ekstraktom marihuane kao kućni lijek za ekceme i druge alergijske reakcije kože, no poslije je povučena s tržišta jer se smatralo da je riječ o prevari.Njemački naucnici sada su utvrdili da marihuana stvarno smanjuje svrab i oticanje kod alergijskih reakcija kože te su zatražili ponovnu procjenu starog bakinog lijeka. Ekstrakte konoplje tradicionalno se koristilo za liječenje upala i moglo ih se kupiti u apotekama početkom 20. vijeka. No sumnje u djelotvornost netestiranog proizvoda, zajedno s bojazni od kemikalije THC koja izaziva halucinogene efekte, doveli su do njihove zabrane 1930-ih.
Krema, cokolada... je li neko probao caj?

Cavalleria Rusticana

FASCINATING PEOPLE, Part 13.

Florence Nightingale is most remembered as a pioneer of nursing and a reformer of hospital sanitation methods. She pushed for reform of the British military health-care system and with that the profession of nursing started to gain the respect it deserved. Her use of new techniques of statistical analysis, such as during the Crimean War when she plotted the incidence of preventable deaths in the military, she developed the "polar-area diagram" to dramatize the needless deaths caused by unsanitary conditions and the need for reform. With her analysis, Florence Nightingale revolutionized the idea that social phenomena could be objectively measured and subjected to mathematical analysis. She was an innovator in the collection, tabulation, interpretation, and graphical display of descriptive statistics. She contributed to reform of hospitals (amazing considering that most women of her age did not attend universities or pursue professional careers). She spoke Italian, Latin, Greek, learned history, and mathematics. When her sanitary reform was implemented, the mortality rate declined.

LEGENDE BH & EX-YU SPORTA, Part 13.

Miroslav Cerar je četrnaest godina dominirao gimnastičkim dvoranama u Jugoslaviji. Prvo je bio juniorski prvak Jugoslavije u višeboju, a zatim 13 puta uzastopno seniorski šampion u višeboju. Prvu medalju na svjetskoj sceni osvojio je na Svjetskom prvenstvu u Moskvi 1958. na konju sa hvataljkama, spravi po kojoj će ga cio svijet prepoznavati i uvažavati. I posljednju zlatnu medalju u karijeri osvojio je na konju sa hvataljkama na Svjetskom prvenstvu u Ljubljani 1970. Na Olimpijskim igrama učestvovao je tri puta (1960, 1964. i 1968) i osvojio dvije zlatne i jednu bronzanu medalju. Na svetskim šampionatima osvojio je šest medalja (četiri zlatne na konju sa hvataljkama), a na evropskim prvenstvima 21 medalju (10 zlatnih). U medjunarodnu kucu slavnih primljen je 1999.

Mrs.Johnny Depp - Vanessa Paradis

Daily Affirmations

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."
I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
Joan of Arc heard voices too.
When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.
The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find someone.
I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.
I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Mummies on the road

Sudanska policija uhvatila je 12 osoba osumnjičenih da su iz zemlje krijumčarili starine, među kojima i dvije mumije (?). Sudan je "domovina" drevne nubijske civilizacije i ima više piramida nego susjedni Egipat, ali je na njihovom arheološkom istraživanju učinjeno jako malo. Najposjećenije sudanske piramide su na području Meroe na sjeveru zemlje uz rijeku Nil i nastale su oko 300. godine p.n.e.
Ova slika nema veze sa pricom, ali provocira razne misli...