LEGENDE BH & EX-YU SPORTA, Part 5

Igor Milanović, po mnogima najbolji svjetski vaterpolista svih vremena, primljen je 2006. u svjetsku Kuću slavnih na Floridi. Osvojio je sve trofeje koje je mogao, u reprezentativnoj i u klupskoj konkurenciji. Karijeru je počeo u Partizanu. Za reprezentaciju Jugoslavije odigrao je 349 utakmica i postigao 540 golova. Dvije zlatne medalje na olimpijadama u Los Angelesu i Seoulu...A nije ni izgledao lose, bogumi!

U cuvenoj utakmici protiv Italije na Svjetskom Prvenstvu u Madridu 1986, u osmom produzetku je dao pobjedonosni gol (12:11).

Mladi svestenik, jako nervozan prije prve mise, ne moze da sastavi dvije od straha.Biskup odluci da mu da savjet:Popij casu vode sa dvije kapi votke i odmah ces biti opusteniji.I, stvarno, svestenika nista vise nije moglo uznemiriti.Nakon mise pronadje poruku od biskupa:
Postovani, sljedeci put stavite nekoliko kapljica votke u vodu, a ne obratno.Osim toga:
-ormar pored oltara je mjesto za ispovijest, a ne WC,
-ne grlite i ljubite statuu blazene djevice Marije,
-postoji 10 zapovijedi, a ne 12; 12 apostola a ne 7, a nijedan nije bio patuljak,
-Isusa i njegove ucenike ne zovemo J.C. & Co,
-Judu ne nazivamo kurvinim sinom,
-Bin Laden nije skrivio Isusovu smrt,
-sveta vodica nije za osvjezavanje pazuha,
-gresnici idu u pakao, a ne u p... m...

Mendelssohn

*Kada ti auto predje brzinu od 100 km/sat, onda vise ne vozis, nego gadjas.

*Citanje kvari vid, dobro vide samo nepismeni.

*Nije majmun kriv sto je od njega postao covjek.

*Vuk dlaku mijenja u jesen i u proljece. Covjek po potrebi.

*Cuvajte drvece - na njima su zivjeli nasi preci.

Global Warming Relief

Stanovnici belgijske pokrajine Valonije, prema odluci njihove vlade, plaćat će porez na roštiljanje. Tako će, od juna 2007 , porodice koje se žele počastiti jelom sa roštilja, za svaku poduzetu akciju morati izdvojiti 20 eura. Prema podacima stručnjaka, prilikom roštiljanja oslobodi se oko 100 grama CO2, najodgovornijeg za globalno zagrijavanje. Dosljednost u provođenju ove odluke valonska vlada će osigurati helikopterskim nadzorom.Helikopteri će biti opremljeni termalnim senzorima koji će lako uočiti potencijalne prekršitelje.Znaci od sada mozete da ocekujete drastican pad emisije štetnih plinova u atmosferu!!!!

Ante...a prezime mu znate!

LEGENDE BH & EX-YU SPORTA, Part 4

Bila su to vremena kada je naša, balkanska, prepotencija imala nekog uporišta u stvarnosti. Dobro smo živjeli, vjerovali smo da nam je zemlja najbolja i najpravednija na svijetu i rado smo radili folove od tuđih slabosti. Ona Kićanovićeva i Slavnićeva odbojka u europskom finalu protiv Rusa 1977. vrtila se svake sedmice na špici sportskoga pregleda, kao vrhunac našega ruganja svijetu. Našoj svadljivosti nije bilo granica, ni potrebi da ponizimo svakoga koga smo u stanju pobijediti. Zapravo, nije nam bilo jasno zašto bismo i pobjeđivali ako se nakon toga nećemo rugati. Ono što smo pokazivali prema vani, demonstrirali smo i jedni drugima, na domaćim terenima i u lokalnim obračunima. /odlomak iz priloga Miljenka Jergovica/.

Jedan bivsi filipinski kosarkas, sa kojim sam imala priliku da radim,rekao mi je da je na Filipinima tada odjednom zavladala epidemija igranja kosarke i da su se svi klinci predstavljali kao Dalipagic, Delibasic, Kicanovic...

Berber

Mersad Berber

Za vrijeme ručka pita mali Ivica tatu:
- Tata, zašto si oženio mamu?
Tata ljutito ustaje od stola pa kaže:
- Vidiš, ženo, ni malome nije jasno!

Portishead

Thought of the day

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

FASCINATING PEOPLE, Part 5

Charles Darwin, an English biologist mostly known for his Origin of Species work, published his main work at the age of 50 (long overdue). As his father was a wealthy physician, Charles had worked as an expedition naturalist without pay. Big controversy continues to this day, although the notion of evolutionary change is now firmly established as a major paradigm of the natural sciences. He described himself not as an atheist, but an agnostic believing in some kind of personal God, who does not directly and continuously intervene in the evolutionary process and in human affairs.
"Blessed is the man who finds wisdom and who gains understanding", was his eulogy.

Click on the title to view Pearl Jam's 'Do The Evolution'!

Least Appropriate Things To Say At A Funeral

1. I should have said something earlier... but I really, really need his kidney.
2. Better him than me.
3. Whoa. I didn't know we were supposed to dress up.
4. Hey, let's order a pizza!
5. Where's the buffet line?
6. Who's the dead guy?
7. Pull my finger.
8. I just wet myself.
9. Is that my beeper - or is he still wearing his?
10. See, kids? This is what God does to the bad ones.
11. Who wants Trident?
12. Did you know his legs aren't really in there?
13. Does anyone have dibs on his parking space?
14. You're probably wondering why I called you all here tonight.
15. What's that... smell?
16. Happy trails to you, until we meet again...
17. Can I have that Kleenex when you're really done with it?

Metalac iz Zenice

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Herbert A. Millington - Chair
Search Committee

Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

LEGENDE BH & EX-YU SPORTA, Part 3

Ivica Osim (Svabo, Strauss)je poceo karijeru u Zeljeznicaru.Selektor Jugoslavije bio je sve do pocetka s:(@#&~?! kod nas.Igraci su ga voljeli. Nije imao klasicni trener–igrac vec vise prijateljski odnos tako da se prema njima ponasao kao otac. U isto vrijeme je imao i respekt od svih igraca zato sto je bio jako dobar covjek, ali i veliki strucnjak.Postovali su ga u svakoj varijanti i sa svima je ostao u dobrim odnosima.Japanski tim Nihon Daihyo sada zovu Osim Japan, posto je Ivica zamijenio Zica kao trener.
Mirko Kamenjasevic u radio prenosu jedne utakmice sa mladim Ivicom kao igracem:“Ivica Osim dribla jednog igrača,dribla drugog,trećeg,dribla četvrtog,petog igrača. I dok Osim,dragi slušatelji,izgubi loptu,vi poslušajte muziku iz našeg studija!”.
Ivica Osim kao trener:"Everything and anything is possible in football.And tomorrow,we will reach one kind of conclusion." Dobro receno, zar ne?

XYu - Josipa

Numbers of the Beast

We all know that 666 is “the number of the Beast”, but did you know:
670 - approximate number of the Beast.
DCLXVI-Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000-high-precision Beast
0.666-number of the Millibeast
$665.95-retail price of the Beast
Word 6.66-word processor of the Beast
999-the Beast viewed upside-down
444-quorum of the Beast

Perfectly useless information you all needed to have...

FASCINATING PEOPLE, Part 4

Nikola Tesla is an inspiration for all nations in the name of peace and science. He was a true visionary far ahead of his contemporaries.He pointed out the inefficiency of businessman Edison’s direct current electrical powerhouses that have been built along the Atlantic seaboard.Got himself an enemy there, along with some wealthy ones.Tesla was a pioneer in many fields (fluorescent light,laser beam,wireless communications,wireless transmission of electrical energy,remote control,robotics,Tesla’s turbines,vertical take off aircraft-to name the few).Many believe that he was cheated out of a Nobel prize by Marconi.And,hey-he was played by David Bowie in Prestige.
And finally, speaking of energy efficient cars,he ran a car with an electric motor at speeds of up to 140km/h (in the 1930s) on nothing more than electricity gathered from the atmosphere!
Clicking on the title will take you to Tesla's "How the cosmic forces shape our destinies" article.Interesting read.

Rade (Go West!)