Nothing else matters

Old, but good ones from Maya Angelou

*I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
*I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
*I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
*I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'.
*I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
*I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.
*I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
*I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
*I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
*I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Joe Arpaio

He is the Maricopa, Arizona county sheriff and keeps getting elected over and over. Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the "Tent City Jail".He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails.Took away their weights,cut off all but "G" movies.He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.He took away cable TV until he found out there was a Federal Court Order that required cable TV for jails.So he hooked up the cable TV again only let in the Disney Channel And The Weather Channel.When asked why the weather channel he replied:so they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back." With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix about 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts. Hundreds of men wearing boxers are either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 58C inside the week before. Many are also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their pink socks."It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace," said James Zanzot,an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It's inhumane." Joe Arpaio said: "It's 48C in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear,but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Shaft

TIME TO JOIN E-MAILERS ANONYMOUS

*You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom, and check your email on the way back to bed.
*You turn off your modem and are suddenly filled with a feeling of emptiness, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
*You spend half of a plane trip with your laptop in your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
*You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
*You find yourself typing "com" after every period.com
*You move into a new home and decide to netscape before you landscape.
*You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

Umalo...

Ratni ministar unutrasnjih poslova B&H, Bakir Alispahić, uspio je od Ministarstva poljoprivrede Federacije i Ministarstva zdravstva dobiti za svoju firmu dozvolu za uvoz 10.000 pakovanja ledenog čaja s ekstraktom marihuane (C'ICE SWIS CANNABIS ICE TEA ). Jedno pakovanje sadrži preko 5% sirupa od pupoljaka kanabisa i njegovog ekstrakta. Carinici su ga svrstali pod tarifnu oznaku koja se daje proizvodima koji u sebi sadrže vodu sa šećerom ili drugim aromama. Medjutim, EUFOR je blokirao carinsko skladište u Sarajevu u kojem je smješteno 40.000 konzervi od 250 ml caja, a uzorke je poslao na analizu u dva nezavisna laboratorija...

Demokratski...

Policijske službe i Obavještajno-sigurnosna agencija (OSA) BiH uskoro će moći prisluškivati sve telefonske razgovore u fiksnoj i mobilnoj mreži, čitati SMS i e-mail poruke, potvrdio je Mijo Krešić, zamjenik ministra sigurnosti BiH: Imamo sve zakonske preduslove. Uskoro ćemo instalisati najsofisticiraniju opremu za zakonito presretanje telekomunikacija. Jedan centar će biti smješten u Državnoj agenciji za istrage i zaštitu BiH, a koristiće ga sve policijske strukture u BiH, drugi će biti u OSA i koristit će se samo za potrebe ove agencije. Ovu najsavremeniju prislušnu opremu poklonice im Europska komisija i Velika Britanija.

E bas vam hvala...