*If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.*If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."
*Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?
*As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
*Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
*When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
*I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
*) by Jack Handey
