Monday, December 1, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
"Substances"
The remote Manitoba First Nations tribes in Canada have largely moved away from alcohol abuse to the abuse of much more potent "superjuice," made with a fast-acting yeast that encourages quick brewing. However, underbrewing results in the swill's continuing to ferment in the stomach after consumption, causing violent pain and progressive inebriation lasting for days.
38-year-old man was cited for disorderly conduct in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin after he bought a beer for his sons, ages 2 and 4, at the county fair. He could not be charged for providing alcohol to minors because, under Wisconsin law, parents are exempt, but he was written up for swearing at police...
Two 18-year-olds spotted police approaching their trailer-park home in Salina, Kansas, panicked, and tossed illegal drugs out a window. Police spotted the flying drugs, even though cops had originally intended only to serve warrants on two of their neighbors. The rest is history.
38-year-old man was cited for disorderly conduct in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin after he bought a beer for his sons, ages 2 and 4, at the county fair. He could not be charged for providing alcohol to minors because, under Wisconsin law, parents are exempt, but he was written up for swearing at police...
Two 18-year-olds spotted police approaching their trailer-park home in Salina, Kansas, panicked, and tossed illegal drugs out a window. Police spotted the flying drugs, even though cops had originally intended only to serve warrants on two of their neighbors. The rest is history.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Examples of how US may have gotten into trouble
Testimonials of a DC Airport Ticket Agent:
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. While I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times. and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." "The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. While I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times. and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." "The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Internationalization of the World
Brazilian Senator Cristovam Buarque (Professor of Brasilia University, ex-governor of Brasilia)in October of 2000 gave a lecture in the NY University. After the lecture he was questioned about the internalization of the Amazon region.
And, this was his answer:
During a recent discussion, in the United States, someone asked my opinion regarding the internationalization of the Amazon Region. The youngster asserted that he expected a response of a humanist and not of a Brazilian.
This was the first time anyone had established the humanist viewpoint as the starting point for my response. In fact, as a Brazilian I would have responded simply against internationalization of the Amazon Region. Even if our governments have not given the attention that this treasure deserves, it is ours. I responded that, as a humanist, realizing the risk of environmental destruction that threatens the Amazon Region, I could imagine its internationalization, just as for everything else that is important to humanity.
If the Amazon Region, from a humanist΄s point of view, has to be internationalized, then we should internationalize the oil reserves of the entire the world as well. Oil is just as important to the well being of humanity as the Amazon Region for our future. Nevertheless, the owners of oil reserves feel it is in their right to increase or decrease oil production and to raise or lower the price. The rich of the world, feel they have the right to burn this valuable possession of humanity. Similarly, the financial capital of the wealthy nations should be internationalized. If the Amazon Region is a natural reserve for every human being, then it could not be burned down by the decision of a landowner or a country. To burn down the Amazon Region is so tragic, as the unemployment provoked by the arbitrary decisions of world wide speculators. We cannot permit that the world΄s financial reserves serve to burn down entire nations according to the whims of speculacion.
Before the (internationalization of the) Amazon Region, I would like to see the internationalization of all the world΄s great museums. The Lourve cannot belong only to France. Each museum in the world is a guardian for the most beautiful works produced by the human genius. It cannot be permitted that these cultural possessions, as the natural posession of the Amazon Region, can be manipulated or be destroyed according to the whims of an owner or a country. Recently, a Japanese millionaire decided to have a painting of a grand master burried with him in the grave. This painting should have been internationalized.
At the time of the meeting, in which this question came up, the United Nations convened the Forum of the Millennium and the presidents of several countries had difficulties in attending due to barriers (they faced) at the border. Therefore, I contend that New York, as the base of the United Nations, should be internationalized. At least Manhattan should belong to all of humanity. Similarly Paris, Venice, Rome, London, Rio de Janeiro, Brazilia, Recife, every city with its own beauty, its own history should belong to the whole world.
If the United States wants to internationalize the Amazon Region, due to the risk of leaving it in Brazilian hands, then we should internationalize all the nuclear stockpiles of the United States. Particularly since they have already shown that they are capable of using these weapons, causing a destruction thousands of times greater than the sad fires taken place in the Brazilian forests.
During their debates, the current U.S. presidential candidates have defended the idea of internationalizing the world forest reserves in exchange for the debt. We could begin to use this debt to guarantee the right of every child in the world to attend school. We could internationalize the children treating all of them, regardless of their birthplace, as a posession which deserves the care and attention of the entire world. Even more so than the Amazon Region. When the world leaders attend to the world΄s poor children as possessions of Humanity, they will no longer permit that these children work when they should be studying, that they die when they should be living.
As a humanist I accept to defend the internationalization of the world. So long as the world treats me as a Brazilian, I will fight so that our Amazon Region will be ours. Only ours.
And, this was his answer:
During a recent discussion, in the United States, someone asked my opinion regarding the internationalization of the Amazon Region. The youngster asserted that he expected a response of a humanist and not of a Brazilian.
This was the first time anyone had established the humanist viewpoint as the starting point for my response. In fact, as a Brazilian I would have responded simply against internationalization of the Amazon Region. Even if our governments have not given the attention that this treasure deserves, it is ours. I responded that, as a humanist, realizing the risk of environmental destruction that threatens the Amazon Region, I could imagine its internationalization, just as for everything else that is important to humanity.
If the Amazon Region, from a humanist΄s point of view, has to be internationalized, then we should internationalize the oil reserves of the entire the world as well. Oil is just as important to the well being of humanity as the Amazon Region for our future. Nevertheless, the owners of oil reserves feel it is in their right to increase or decrease oil production and to raise or lower the price. The rich of the world, feel they have the right to burn this valuable possession of humanity. Similarly, the financial capital of the wealthy nations should be internationalized. If the Amazon Region is a natural reserve for every human being, then it could not be burned down by the decision of a landowner or a country. To burn down the Amazon Region is so tragic, as the unemployment provoked by the arbitrary decisions of world wide speculators. We cannot permit that the world΄s financial reserves serve to burn down entire nations according to the whims of speculacion.
Before the (internationalization of the) Amazon Region, I would like to see the internationalization of all the world΄s great museums. The Lourve cannot belong only to France. Each museum in the world is a guardian for the most beautiful works produced by the human genius. It cannot be permitted that these cultural possessions, as the natural posession of the Amazon Region, can be manipulated or be destroyed according to the whims of an owner or a country. Recently, a Japanese millionaire decided to have a painting of a grand master burried with him in the grave. This painting should have been internationalized.
At the time of the meeting, in which this question came up, the United Nations convened the Forum of the Millennium and the presidents of several countries had difficulties in attending due to barriers (they faced) at the border. Therefore, I contend that New York, as the base of the United Nations, should be internationalized. At least Manhattan should belong to all of humanity. Similarly Paris, Venice, Rome, London, Rio de Janeiro, Brazilia, Recife, every city with its own beauty, its own history should belong to the whole world.
If the United States wants to internationalize the Amazon Region, due to the risk of leaving it in Brazilian hands, then we should internationalize all the nuclear stockpiles of the United States. Particularly since they have already shown that they are capable of using these weapons, causing a destruction thousands of times greater than the sad fires taken place in the Brazilian forests.
During their debates, the current U.S. presidential candidates have defended the idea of internationalizing the world forest reserves in exchange for the debt. We could begin to use this debt to guarantee the right of every child in the world to attend school. We could internationalize the children treating all of them, regardless of their birthplace, as a posession which deserves the care and attention of the entire world. Even more so than the Amazon Region. When the world leaders attend to the world΄s poor children as possessions of Humanity, they will no longer permit that these children work when they should be studying, that they die when they should be living.
As a humanist I accept to defend the internationalization of the world. So long as the world treats me as a Brazilian, I will fight so that our Amazon Region will be ours. Only ours.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
God Bless America...and Canada for that matter
John McCain, if elected, may not live long enough to fill out a second term, leaving Sarah Palin as president (!). Yet, Palin suggests that Joe Biden might be too old for the job...
McCain stresses the importance of "ensuring that America is secure, and not dependent on oil from people like Hugo Chavez or other parts of the Middle East which is, we know, could be destabilized under certain sets of circumstances."
Hope Chavez knows Venezuela is in the Middle East...
What about the prudent Canadian PM Stephen Harper?
Trying to paint himself a moderate is hard case to make when you get caught plagiarizing an Iraq speech from war-driven Australian PM John Howard.
McCain stresses the importance of "ensuring that America is secure, and not dependent on oil from people like Hugo Chavez or other parts of the Middle East which is, we know, could be destabilized under certain sets of circumstances."
Hope Chavez knows Venezuela is in the Middle East...
What about the prudent Canadian PM Stephen Harper?
Trying to paint himself a moderate is hard case to make when you get caught plagiarizing an Iraq speech from war-driven Australian PM John Howard.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Cultural Diversity
About 250,000 women in the Southern India states of Karnataka and Maharashtra are self-described "elite" sex workers whose impoverished, or devoutly pious, parents "dedicated" them as children to the Hindu goddess Yellamma. Despite the state's outlawing the practice in 1982, the women's fate as "devadasis" remains an attractive alternative to ordinary marriage (which would usually be to poor and abusive men) and provides a degree of status, in that they dress nicely and can inherit family property, while street prostitutes cannot.
Christopher Sullivan, 43, was arrested in Oshkosh, Wisconsine, as the person who allegedly sent his upstairs neighbors threatening packages, including a Polaroid photo of three naked Barbie dolls with their heads cut off. He told police he was angry that the couple were too loud when they had sex.
Christopher Sullivan, 43, was arrested in Oshkosh, Wisconsine, as the person who allegedly sent his upstairs neighbors threatening packages, including a Polaroid photo of three naked Barbie dolls with their heads cut off. He told police he was angry that the couple were too loud when they had sex.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Democracy at its best
The two states whose electoral votes decided the presidential races in 2000 (Florida) and 2004 (Ohio) are provoking anxiety this time around as well. In Palm Beach County, Fla. (home of the "butterfly ballot" in 2000), 3,478 optical-scan votes disappeared between primary-night counting on Aug. 26 and the official recount a few days later (flipping the outcome of at least one race).
Ohio officials claimed that they had fixed a software-logic tabulating error in Premier Election Systems machines used in some counties (but, according to a spokesman for Premier, a company formerly known as Diebold, that error had been present for the last 10 years).
The Ohio secretary of state ordered election officials to end the practice of taking voting machines home at night during election season "for safekeeping," even though such "sleepovers" had been encouraged in order to protect the machines from tampering.)
Oh, my...
Ohio officials claimed that they had fixed a software-logic tabulating error in Premier Election Systems machines used in some counties (but, according to a spokesman for Premier, a company formerly known as Diebold, that error had been present for the last 10 years).
The Ohio secretary of state ordered election officials to end the practice of taking voting machines home at night during election season "for safekeeping," even though such "sleepovers" had been encouraged in order to protect the machines from tampering.)
Oh, my...
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The Rape of Europa
In a journey through seven countries, The Rape of Europa documentary takes the audience into the violent whirlwind of fanaticism, greed, and warfare that threatened to wipe out the artistic heritage of Europe . For twelve long years, failed Austrian artist Adolf Hitler and the Nazis looted and destroyed art on a scale unprecedented in history. But young art professionals as well as ordinary heroes, from truck drivers to department store clerks, fought back with an extraordinary effort to safeguard, rescue and return the millions of lost, hidden and stolen treasures.
The Nazis stole one-fifth of all the known artworks in Europe. Many of the displaced art in the decade following the war was recovered, but much of the loot is still missing. Tragically, unique masterpieces were destroyed and lost to posterity forever. Other works of art—the last, forgotten victims of the war—survived but remain unidentified, traceable only with costly and difficult investigation.
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Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Gift from Above
Mohammed Bello Abubakar, 84, a Muslim preacher in the western Nigerian state of Niger, told a BBC reporter in August that, although he personally has 86 wives (and 170 children), other men could not handle that many. "(M)y own power is given by Allah," he said. "That is why I have been able to control 86 of them." The usual maximum for Muslims is four, but Bello Abubakar said the Quran does not specify punishment for violation. Besides, he said, "I don't go looking for (women). They come to me" because of his reputation as a healer. (Two weeks later, Reuters reported that local clerics were pressuring Bello Abubakar to divorce 82 wives of his choice, but a spokesman for the preacher said he was resisting.)
Monday, September 8, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Olympic Quotes
Some comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics they probably like to take back:
1. Weight-lifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh, my God, what have I just said?"
1. Weight-lifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh, my God, what have I just said?"
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Believers
Rocky Twyman of Washington, D.C., started Pray at the Pump, a brief, scattered national campaign in June to urge prayer to bring down gas prices. A colleague in St. Louis claimed his prayer sessions caused the price drop in July, pointing to his use of the civil rights anthem "We Shall Overcome" (and his new verse, "We'll have lower gas prices")!!!!!
Salinas, Calif., Mayor Dennis Donohue, frustrated at this year's dramatic surge in gang violence, kicked off a campaign to urge a citywide fast, which he said was a proven technique in achieving social justice!!!!!
Salinas, Calif., Mayor Dennis Donohue, frustrated at this year's dramatic surge in gang violence, kicked off a campaign to urge a citywide fast, which he said was a proven technique in achieving social justice!!!!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Spanish Art
The Nasher Museum of Art at Duke University presents the exhibition, El Greco to Velázquez: Art during the Reign of Philip III, made for this Spanish court four centuries ago. The show will also introduce great unknown masters of painting and sculpture. The exhibition includes 52 master paintings, including seven late works by El Greco and three early works by Velázquez, monumental altar pieces, life-sized portraits, some of the earliest still-life paintings in Europe, full-length carved and painted wooden sculptures of Spanish saints and more than 50 pieces of period glass and ceramics.
Here's Juan Sánchez Cotán, "Still Life with Quince, Cabbage, Melon, and Cucumber"
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Here's Juan Sánchez Cotán, "Still Life with Quince, Cabbage, Melon, and Cucumber"
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Can't touch this
Because of his search for evidence on the existence of UFOs, 40-year-old Briton hacker Gary McKinnon is in trouble, awaiting extradition to the USA from his London home. He had raided official NASA site and is facing a 70-year prison sentence.
Gary claims he saw photos of alien space crafts on NASA`s site. He says he was inspired for his action by Hugh Cornwall`s Guide for Hackers and his main interest are secrets of the American government on alien space crafts and high technology. He claims he has found documents recording 400 testimonies of unidentified flying objects.
Flight controllers and persons in charge of controlling nuclear missiles wrote down their unusual encounters with UFOs. Witnesses spoke of up to date technology which they took over from UFOs or destroyed it. NASA is in possession of a large amount of photos and processed and unprocessed documents. When asked if this was just another strategic game of the American Army or a reconstruction of a hypothetic situation, Gary responded that anything was possible because it is widely known that the army wants complete sky domination.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Kids In Church
3-year-old Reese :
Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.
A little boy was overheard praying:
Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.'
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied:
That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.
One particular four-year-old prayed:
And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service: And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?
One bright little girl replied:
Because people are sleeping.
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson: If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said:
Ryan, you be Jesus!
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand:
Daddy, what happened to him? the son asked.
He died and went to Heaven, the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said:
Did God throw him back down?
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said: Would you like to say the blessing?
I wouldn't know what to say, the girl replied.
Just say what you hear Mommy say, the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said:
Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?
.
Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.
A little boy was overheard praying:
Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.'
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied:
That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.
One particular four-year-old prayed:
And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service: And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?
One bright little girl replied:
Because people are sleeping.
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson: If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said:
Ryan, you be Jesus!
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand:
Daddy, what happened to him? the son asked.
He died and went to Heaven, the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said:
Did God throw him back down?
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said: Would you like to say the blessing?
I wouldn't know what to say, the girl replied.
Just say what you hear Mommy say, the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said:
Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?
.
Friday, July 4, 2008
People or Animals
*Evolution scientists at Switzerland's University of Lausanne just reported that over the course of 30 to 40 generations, ordinary flies tend to live longer if they're stupid. The researchers guessed that heightened neural activity overtaxed their systems.
*A farmer in Jilin province of China had been found with a tortoise that is addicted to nicotine. The farmer, a smoker himself, said he was surprised when the pet puffed on a cigarette he had playfully stuck in its mouth, and since then, he occasionally shares smokes with it.
*A farmer in Jilin province of China had been found with a tortoise that is addicted to nicotine. The farmer, a smoker himself, said he was surprised when the pet puffed on a cigarette he had playfully stuck in its mouth, and since then, he occasionally shares smokes with it.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Soccer Fever Tribute
If you're a soccer (or the "real" football) fan you'd make sense out of these nicknames given to some of the most famous football players:
Edson Arantes do Nascimento = Pele
(Used to pretend he was a goal-keeper and would say, 'I'm am Bile' -name of a goal-keeper of those times, after each save. 'Pele' came from the wrong pronunciation of 'Bile')
Manoel dos Santos = Garrincha
(One of the greatest forwards to play for Brazil with Pele. 'Garrincha' is the name of a bird that Manoel liked to hunt when he was a child)
Diego Maradona = El Pibe de Oro
Lev Yashin = The Black Spider USSR
(Had the best anticipation ever seen in a goalkeeper)
Franz Beckenbauer = The Kaiser
Gerd Muller = Bomber
Ferenc Puskas = The Galloping Major (A little left footed genius from the famous Hungary side of the early 1950's)
Jack Charlton = The Giraffe
Marco Van Basten = The Swan of Utrecht
Ruud Gullit = Il Tulipo Nero
(The black tulip)
Stuart Pearce = Psycho
(Would run through a brick wall for his team)
Paul Gascoigne = Gazza
David Beckham = Goldenballs
(Named by his wife ' Posh' in her autobiography)
Eusebio = The 'Black Panther'
Zinedine Zidane = 'Zizou'
Kevin Keegan = Mighty Mouse
SOCCER PEARLS:
Edson Arantes do Nascimento = Pele
(Used to pretend he was a goal-keeper and would say, 'I'm am Bile' -name of a goal-keeper of those times, after each save. 'Pele' came from the wrong pronunciation of 'Bile')
Manoel dos Santos = Garrincha
(One of the greatest forwards to play for Brazil with Pele. 'Garrincha' is the name of a bird that Manoel liked to hunt when he was a child)
Diego Maradona = El Pibe de Oro
Lev Yashin = The Black Spider USSR
(Had the best anticipation ever seen in a goalkeeper)
Franz Beckenbauer = The Kaiser
Gerd Muller = Bomber
Ferenc Puskas = The Galloping Major (A little left footed genius from the famous Hungary side of the early 1950's)
Jack Charlton = The Giraffe
Marco Van Basten = The Swan of Utrecht
Ruud Gullit = Il Tulipo Nero
(The black tulip)
Stuart Pearce = Psycho
(Would run through a brick wall for his team)
Paul Gascoigne = Gazza
David Beckham = Goldenballs
(Named by his wife ' Posh' in her autobiography)
Eusebio = The 'Black Panther'
Zinedine Zidane = 'Zizou'
Kevin Keegan = Mighty Mouse
SOCCER PEARLS:
*It's now 4-3 to Oldham, the goals are going in like dominoes
*I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in
*It slid away from his left boot which was poised with the trigger cocked
*We have been saying this, both pre-season and before the season started
*But as you know, the result for City is not as bad as it sounds on paper
*Well actually we got the winner up there with three minutes to go, but then they equalised
*Ian Rush, deadly ten times out of ten, but that wasn't one of them
*It was a fair decision, the penalty, even though it was debatable whether it was inside or outside the box
*Believe it or not, goals can change a game
*You'll be hoping that this run of injuries will stop earlier than it started
*Ian Durant has grown both physically and metaphorically in the close season
*It will be a shame if either side lose, and that applies to both sides
*Peter Shilton conceded five, you don't get many of those to the dozen
*Everything in our favour was against us
*I think everyone in the stadium went home happy, except all those people in Rumania
*We've got nothing to lose, and there's no point losing this game
*Who ever wins today will win the championship no matter who wins
*I am a firm believer that if you score one goal the other team have to score two to win
*Here's Brian Flynn. His official height is five feet five and he doesn't look much taller than that
*Wilkins sends an inch perfect pass to no one in particular
*Even when you're dead you shouldn't lie down and let yourself be buried
*And Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last year
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Monday, June 9, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Alan Ford (Italian)
For admirers of this comic no translation is needed. I do hope they will make these cartoons in English, too. Note: Slow load. Give it some time to download before you watch it in one piece.
Briefly about the group TNT:
Briefly about the group TNT:
Monday, June 2, 2008
Wild Horses
I watched this show about Sable Island (SE of Nova Scotia) last night and it just took my breath away. Am so unbelievably happy such place on Earth still exists. But will it last?
The future of these magnificent animals on Sable Island is in question, and the Government of Canada is considering various options - one of which is to close the Station, ending 200 years of full-time human presence and stewardship. This option would put not only the horses, but all the island's flora and fauna at serious risk.
If this really happens I will officially have had no more hope for the mankind!
Check out the site with more info.
Beautiful pics here.
The future of these magnificent animals on Sable Island is in question, and the Government of Canada is considering various options - one of which is to close the Station, ending 200 years of full-time human presence and stewardship. This option would put not only the horses, but all the island's flora and fauna at serious risk.
If this really happens I will officially have had no more hope for the mankind!
Check out the site with more info.
Beautiful pics here.
Wanna help to preserve this place? See how here.
He vs. She
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some sort people living in the house.
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some sort people living in the house.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Headed for China? Gotta see this.
It is believed that Yellow Mountain (Mount Huang or Huangshan) is one of the most beautiful mountains in China. The Huangshan is a mountain range in southern Anhui province (Eastern China). The area is very famous for its scenic beauty, which lies in the peculiar shapes of the granite peaks, in the weather-shaped Huangshan Pine trees, and in views of the clouds from above. The area also has hot springs and natural pools. Today, they are a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of China's most popular tourist destinations. The landscape was shaped by the influence of glaciers. It is filled with stone pillar forests. The mountain tops are often above cloud level and offer views of the clouds from above and interesting light-effects. The water in the hot springs retains a temperature of 45°C all year.
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The latest in the hand watch technology
The Swiss watchmaker Romain Jerome (which last year created a watch made from remnants of the Titanic) introduced the "Day&Night" watch, which unfortunately does not provide a reading of the hour or the minute. Though it retails for about $300,000, it tells only whether it is "day" or "night" (using a complex measurement of the Earth's gravity). CEO Yvan Arpa said studies show that two-thirds of rich people "don't (use) their watch to tell what time it is" anyway. Anyone can buy a watch that tells time, he told a Reuters reporter, but only a "truly discerning customer" can buy one that doesn't.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Updated Chicken (crossing the road)
BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN McCAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road?Did he cross it with a toad?Yes, the chicken crossed the road,But why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die. In the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was GAY! Can't you people see the plain truth?! That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cr a...#@&&^(C% .........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
JOHN McCAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road?Did he cross it with a toad?Yes, the chicken crossed the road,But why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die. In the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was GAY! Can't you people see the plain truth?! That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cr a...#@&&^(C% .........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Cursed Movies
Atuk was supposed to be a comedy about an Eskimo hunter trying to adapt to life in the big city. John Belushi wanted the role, but died of an overdose. Role taken over by Sam Kinison who then died in a car accident. John Candy offered the role, but died of a heart failure. Chris Farley offered the role - died of an overdose.
Hopefully no one else will be offered the script. The list is long enough...
The Misfits (filmed in Reno desert) starring Marilyn Monroe (died of an overdose), Montgomery Clift (died of a heart failure) and Clarke Gable (died of a heart attack) - all shortly after filming the movie.
The Conqueror - filmed in Utah (near Nevada's nuclear testing grounds) was destined to have all director Dick Powell, stars John Wayne and Susan Hayward along with 91 cast and crew members contracting a cancer (46 of them died).
The Passion of the Christ - a crew member Jan Michelini died of a thunder strike. Later on, Jim Caviezel was hit once but was unharmed.
James Bond movies left a sea of corpses behind. While filming the latest Quantum of Solace, one stunt man drove Aston Martin into the lake and died, another one later hit a truck and then a wall with Alfa Romeo barely surviving. A by-stander had a heart attack and died, one of technicians got stabbed by a stranger...
The Man who killed Don Quixote : Terry Gilliam had been trying for 10 years to collect a budget for the movie. He even got Johnny Depp to star in it and all, but was sick the entire time of filming it, and then there was a big flood that destroyed the set and the entire area... In Gilliam's last movie the starring role was to be played by Heath Ledger (!)...
Hopefully no one else will be offered the script. The list is long enough...
The Misfits (filmed in Reno desert) starring Marilyn Monroe (died of an overdose), Montgomery Clift (died of a heart failure) and Clarke Gable (died of a heart attack) - all shortly after filming the movie.
The Conqueror - filmed in Utah (near Nevada's nuclear testing grounds) was destined to have all director Dick Powell, stars John Wayne and Susan Hayward along with 91 cast and crew members contracting a cancer (46 of them died).
The Passion of the Christ - a crew member Jan Michelini died of a thunder strike. Later on, Jim Caviezel was hit once but was unharmed.
James Bond movies left a sea of corpses behind. While filming the latest Quantum of Solace, one stunt man drove Aston Martin into the lake and died, another one later hit a truck and then a wall with Alfa Romeo barely surviving. A by-stander had a heart attack and died, one of technicians got stabbed by a stranger...
The Man who killed Don Quixote : Terry Gilliam had been trying for 10 years to collect a budget for the movie. He even got Johnny Depp to star in it and all, but was sick the entire time of filming it, and then there was a big flood that destroyed the set and the entire area... In Gilliam's last movie the starring role was to be played by Heath Ledger (!)...
Rubens
This the very first sketch of Sir Peter Paul Rubens (1577-1640), called Apotheosis of James I and was made for magnificent ceiling paintings in the Whitehall Banqueting House, London, England. It was owned by a private collector and now will be a part of National Gallery of British art (Tate Britain).
It is valued at £11.5m
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Living in a Box
*Representatives of about 300 Islamic madrassa schools meeting in New Delhi decided that Muslims could not buy health insurance because the Quran forbids gambling (!) They do say they will continue to "explore" ways of reconciling Sharia law with health care financing...
* When Albert Einstein was getting estranged from his wife, Mileva Maric, he proposed a "contract" in which they could continue to live together under certain conditions:
a) You will make sure
1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room;
3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.
b) You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons…“you will stop talking to me if I request it.”
And he vowed, “In return, I assure you of proper comportment on my part, such as I would exercise to any woman as a stranger.”
* When Albert Einstein was getting estranged from his wife, Mileva Maric, he proposed a "contract" in which they could continue to live together under certain conditions:
a) You will make sure
1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room;
3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.
b) You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons…“you will stop talking to me if I request it.”
And he vowed, “In return, I assure you of proper comportment on my part, such as I would exercise to any woman as a stranger.”
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Grandparents (wish mine were still around...)
She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
Young grandson called his grandma the other day to wish her Happy Birthday. He asked her how old she was, and she told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
A grandson was visiting one day his grandma when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" She mentally polished her halo while she asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
Little granddaughter may or not had learned her colors yet, so her grandma decided to test her. She would point out something and ask what color it was. The little one was always correct. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
When Billy and his grandpa entered their vacation cabin, they kept the lights off until they were inside to keep them from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing them before his grandpa, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
When little grandson asked his grandpa how old he was, he teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm four to six."
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants...
Young grandson called his grandma the other day to wish her Happy Birthday. He asked her how old she was, and she told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
A grandson was visiting one day his grandma when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" She mentally polished her halo while she asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
Little granddaughter may or not had learned her colors yet, so her grandma decided to test her. She would point out something and ask what color it was. The little one was always correct. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
When Billy and his grandpa entered their vacation cabin, they kept the lights off until they were inside to keep them from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing them before his grandpa, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
When little grandson asked his grandpa how old he was, he teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm four to six."
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants...
Monday, May 12, 2008
Toasters of the future
If IBM made toasters...
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters.
If Microsoft made toasters...
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster '95 would weigh 15,000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.
If Apple made toasters...
It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier.
If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...
They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you regular bread.
If Sony made toasters...
Their Personal Toasting Device, which would be barely larger than the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to a your belt.
If Radio Shack made toasters...
The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. You would be able to buy all the parts to build your own toaster.
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters.
If Microsoft made toasters...
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster '95 would weigh 15,000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.
If Apple made toasters...
It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier.
If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...
They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you regular bread.
If Sony made toasters...
Their Personal Toasting Device, which would be barely larger than the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to a your belt.
If Radio Shack made toasters...
The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. You would be able to buy all the parts to build your own toaster.
Charity on the Cutting Edge
"Obviously, this is not as important as helping starving kids in Africa, but it's the same basis.(!!!!) They want to help us out," said Karla Rae Morris, referring to her benefactors who had donated money (two men, over $1,000 each) so that she could afford breast implants, based on arrangements commenced by the Web site MyFreeImplants.com, which facilitates e-mail exchanges and chats for prospective contributors and collects the money until the goal is reached. "It's like donating to any charity," said Morris, of her donors. "You feel like you're doing good."
So, people, do something good for once and help these poor ladies emphasize their assets!
So, people, do something good for once and help these poor ladies emphasize their assets!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Enlightened?
On May 1, 1776, the former Catholic priest (?) and professor at the university in Ingolstadt in Bavaria, Adam Weishaupt, founded the Illuminati group, which was financed by international bankers. The Illuminati were mentioned as far back as the 15th century as a group of Gnostics, and their activities were destroyed by the Inquisition. Weishaupt’s plan was to control the ruling structures in most countries, and it was feared that he wanted to totally destroy the Catholic Church and all of its foundations. (If you haven't read it, I'm sure you'll see Dan Brown's "Angels & Demons" movie that is in the making with Tom Hanks) .
They are considered ideological founders of the new world order.
It is not certain this secret society managed to keep tradition today, even though many societies have used their name. I goes all the way to presidential circles.
Here is a little somethin' about them.
They are considered ideological founders of the new world order.
It is not certain this secret society managed to keep tradition today, even though many societies have used their name. I goes all the way to presidential circles.
Here is a little somethin' about them.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
40 Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with, once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying.
10. Ahhhh .. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder…my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh, I get it…like humor…but different
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with, once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying.
10. Ahhhh .. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder…my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh, I get it…like humor…but different
Monday, April 28, 2008
And the truth shall set you free...
The New York Times published a detailed report which reveals the huge scale of the propaganda machinery that has been selling false information about the successes and failures of the American invasion of Iraq.
Donald Rumsfeld as the defence minister, a year before the invasion, authorized the formation of an expert team for propaganda which was led by 75 retired military officers whose basic aim was to “offer good news from Iraq, even when there was no good news”.
The administration touched the bottom when they decided to hire professional or less professional actors who presented themselves and were hired as journalists and expert advisers. This occurred before and after the invasion, whilst the Pentagon made sure there was an uninterrupted flow of unfounded and/or false news, disinformation that first of all changed public perception, and then promoted “success or prepared the public for failure on the battlefield”. The investigative journalist for the Times, David Barstow, reveals the typical wage an “expert for propaganda” earned. One of the conservative commentators earned an envious 240,000 dollars per year for his services.
This practice, that was being carried out by Bush’s team for national security in cooperation with a large number of Pentagon officials, lasted until April 20 this year, when the American military chiefs were concerned about the latest headlines, and informed the public via their spokesperson Robert Hastings that the program has been frozen.
Barstow dedicated a full two years to the investigation, during which via attorneys and the Freedom of Information Act, forced the Bush administration to release 8,000 pages of documentation that recorded the propaganda that was enabled and supported by the ongoing war in Iraq. Even though his first report was very detailed, it is expected that the NYT will continue to reveal details about the ways that the Pentagon occupied the American media and then created a false picture of reality.
See the video about it Here
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Donald Rumsfeld as the defence minister, a year before the invasion, authorized the formation of an expert team for propaganda which was led by 75 retired military officers whose basic aim was to “offer good news from Iraq, even when there was no good news”.
The administration touched the bottom when they decided to hire professional or less professional actors who presented themselves and were hired as journalists and expert advisers. This occurred before and after the invasion, whilst the Pentagon made sure there was an uninterrupted flow of unfounded and/or false news, disinformation that first of all changed public perception, and then promoted “success or prepared the public for failure on the battlefield”. The investigative journalist for the Times, David Barstow, reveals the typical wage an “expert for propaganda” earned. One of the conservative commentators earned an envious 240,000 dollars per year for his services.
This practice, that was being carried out by Bush’s team for national security in cooperation with a large number of Pentagon officials, lasted until April 20 this year, when the American military chiefs were concerned about the latest headlines, and informed the public via their spokesperson Robert Hastings that the program has been frozen.
Barstow dedicated a full two years to the investigation, during which via attorneys and the Freedom of Information Act, forced the Bush administration to release 8,000 pages of documentation that recorded the propaganda that was enabled and supported by the ongoing war in Iraq. Even though his first report was very detailed, it is expected that the NYT will continue to reveal details about the ways that the Pentagon occupied the American media and then created a false picture of reality.
See the video about it Here
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Karl Bodmer
Swiss artist (1809-1893)
Confluence of the Fox River and the Wabash, watercolor on paper
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Assignment: Think of a story and then conclude its moral.
Little Suzy:
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
Moral of the story: "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Little Lucy:
"Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
Moral of the story:"Don't count your eggs before they're hatched."
Little Johnny:
"My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands".
Moral of the story: "If you mess with uncle Ted when he's been drinking - you asked for it!"
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Little Suzy:
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
Moral of the story: "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Little Lucy:
"Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
Moral of the story:"Don't count your eggs before they're hatched."
Little Johnny:
"My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands".
Moral of the story: "If you mess with uncle Ted when he's been drinking - you asked for it!"
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Friday, April 25, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Simon said it
*On his 15 minutes of fame:
My act is going to run out fairly quickly. There's no question of that.
*Describing Marianna Riccio's version of "Should I Stay or Should I Go":
You sounded like Cher after she's been to the dentist.
*Gloating over Sanjaya:
I thought the whole Sanjaya thing was hysterical. I'm happy now because he's out. I don't think I'd be happy if he was in the finals, so I can now be quite smug about it.
*Simon reveals his secret desire for more sass from "Idol" contestants:
I encourage [back talk]. I don't think they do it enough because I think they all think they're going to be voted off if they're rude to me. I think it's the opposite. I think the more rude they are to me, the more votes they'll get .... I think it should be two-way. If I'm rude to them, they're more than entitled to be rude to me back.
*Admitting he isn't always a big fan of his fellow judge:
I don't think Paula will be having my children. Sometimes I just don't like her.
*Explaining how 'American Idol' could have given Britney Spears an extreme makeover:
We will take her under our wing for six months and we will produce a new Britney Spears [We'll] keep her away from her stupid friends [and] buy her some underwear.
*Serving up a rare, if backhanded, compliment to Taylor Hicks:
You're like every dad who's ever got drunk at a wedding ... got on stage and sang. The difference is, you can sing.
*To a tuneless contestant whose green sweater is a fashion no-no
Oh, gosh, where do I start? I mean I'm not being rude but you look like the Incredible Hulk's wife.
*Taking down another tuneless wonder:
Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf.
*On why he'll never be father of the year:
I don't want babies the same way I wouldn't want a puppy. It's too much responsibility.
* Revealing he has an unlikely role model:
I actually really like Donald Trump. I think he's entertaining. There are so many unhappy billionaires, and he's a happy one with a great sense of humor. I didn't think I'd like him. I like people [who] don't take themselves too seriously.
*To 'Idol' reject Steve Thoen following an ear-splitting version of 'Bohemian Rhapsody':
It was possibly the weirdest audition I've heard in my life. It was like a 1-year-old singing that song. It was weird. It would be like coaching a one-legged man to win the 100 meter sprint. I may be a great coach, but if you haven't got it, you haven't got it. This is just ridiculous, if you don't mind me saying.
*Rationalizing the agonizing reign of Sanjaya:
I like crazy. The panel is wacky, and therefore I think the contestants should be a bit strange as well.
*Explaining his plain-talking methods:
All we're doing is telling people who don't have a chance in hell that they don't have a chance in hell.
*Admitting he missed a great opportunity:
I was once offered money to judge somebody in bed, a couple. And I stupidly turned it down. It was about 100 grand, and I should have taken the money, because it would be a much more interesting story.
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My act is going to run out fairly quickly. There's no question of that.
*Describing Marianna Riccio's version of "Should I Stay or Should I Go":
You sounded like Cher after she's been to the dentist.
*Gloating over Sanjaya:
I thought the whole Sanjaya thing was hysterical. I'm happy now because he's out. I don't think I'd be happy if he was in the finals, so I can now be quite smug about it.
*Simon reveals his secret desire for more sass from "Idol" contestants:
I encourage [back talk]. I don't think they do it enough because I think they all think they're going to be voted off if they're rude to me. I think it's the opposite. I think the more rude they are to me, the more votes they'll get .... I think it should be two-way. If I'm rude to them, they're more than entitled to be rude to me back.
*Admitting he isn't always a big fan of his fellow judge:
I don't think Paula will be having my children. Sometimes I just don't like her.
*Explaining how 'American Idol' could have given Britney Spears an extreme makeover:
We will take her under our wing for six months and we will produce a new Britney Spears [We'll] keep her away from her stupid friends [and] buy her some underwear.
*Serving up a rare, if backhanded, compliment to Taylor Hicks:
You're like every dad who's ever got drunk at a wedding ... got on stage and sang. The difference is, you can sing.
*To a tuneless contestant whose green sweater is a fashion no-no
Oh, gosh, where do I start? I mean I'm not being rude but you look like the Incredible Hulk's wife.
*Taking down another tuneless wonder:
Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf.
*On why he'll never be father of the year:
I don't want babies the same way I wouldn't want a puppy. It's too much responsibility.
* Revealing he has an unlikely role model:
I actually really like Donald Trump. I think he's entertaining. There are so many unhappy billionaires, and he's a happy one with a great sense of humor. I didn't think I'd like him. I like people [who] don't take themselves too seriously.
*To 'Idol' reject Steve Thoen following an ear-splitting version of 'Bohemian Rhapsody':
It was possibly the weirdest audition I've heard in my life. It was like a 1-year-old singing that song. It was weird. It would be like coaching a one-legged man to win the 100 meter sprint. I may be a great coach, but if you haven't got it, you haven't got it. This is just ridiculous, if you don't mind me saying.
*Rationalizing the agonizing reign of Sanjaya:
I like crazy. The panel is wacky, and therefore I think the contestants should be a bit strange as well.
*Explaining his plain-talking methods:
All we're doing is telling people who don't have a chance in hell that they don't have a chance in hell.
*Admitting he missed a great opportunity:
I was once offered money to judge somebody in bed, a couple. And I stupidly turned it down. It was about 100 grand, and I should have taken the money, because it would be a much more interesting story.
.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Classics?
A few rich and ruthless people have locked themselves in their palaces in the middle of nowhere, a long with a suite of young and old in order to enjoy in the charms of sex and obscenity for 120 days.
120 days of Sodoma, that is. A cult work by Marquis de Sade. When it appeared it caused a great scandal. It is not really for children but today is considered a classic. De Sade wrote it in prison, so only the first part was written in detail. The rest is made of footnote and shorter synopsises, information which De Sade wrote for himself. In his works he also spoke about corrupted judges and ruthless rich men. The criminals of this book are the pillars of society.
Tropic of Cancer, by Henry Miller was written in first person, about an adventurer who lived in Paris, and who wanted to become a writer. His top level style of writing and the interesting plots were overshadowed by explicit scenes and obscene language that shocked the nation. Some of the characters were inspired by real people, and the third chapter was dedicated to (imagine this) a prostitute!
Lolita, by Vladimir Nabukov shocked the world telling a story of a middle-aged man, Humbert Humbert, who desperately falls in love with twelve-year-old Lolita. It was labeled pornography and a work which promotes pedophilia. The book recorded crazy sales, but no one wanted to admit having it. Today the book is also considered a critic of American society, full of many witty lingual games and references to classic works. Nabukov admitted that Humbert was and extremely unpleasant person
The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger, where Holden Caulfield uses dirty words, hangs out with prostitutes and generally does not behave decently, was "shameful" and controversial. However this book is considered a masterpiece of literature from the past century. Mark David Chapman, the murderer of John Lennon, was carrying the book with him at the time of the murder...Not the best recommendation for it, but it is still admired by some of the smartest people in the world.
Lady Chatterley’s Lover, by D.H. Lawrence, is about young aristocratic Constance, wife of Clifford Chatterley, frustrated with her husband’s impotence caused by his paralysis, started messing around with Oliver Mellors, who is of a much lower class than her. Constance realises that to fulfil a complete life, she must not live only with her mind, but also with her body. Head prosecutor, who in court tried to explain the book was pornography, when asked if it were the kind of book "you would wish your wife or servants to read answered - Yes, Sir!
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120 days of Sodoma, that is. A cult work by Marquis de Sade. When it appeared it caused a great scandal. It is not really for children but today is considered a classic. De Sade wrote it in prison, so only the first part was written in detail. The rest is made of footnote and shorter synopsises, information which De Sade wrote for himself. In his works he also spoke about corrupted judges and ruthless rich men. The criminals of this book are the pillars of society.
Tropic of Cancer, by Henry Miller was written in first person, about an adventurer who lived in Paris, and who wanted to become a writer. His top level style of writing and the interesting plots were overshadowed by explicit scenes and obscene language that shocked the nation. Some of the characters were inspired by real people, and the third chapter was dedicated to (imagine this) a prostitute!
Lolita, by Vladimir Nabukov shocked the world telling a story of a middle-aged man, Humbert Humbert, who desperately falls in love with twelve-year-old Lolita. It was labeled pornography and a work which promotes pedophilia. The book recorded crazy sales, but no one wanted to admit having it. Today the book is also considered a critic of American society, full of many witty lingual games and references to classic works. Nabukov admitted that Humbert was and extremely unpleasant person
The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger, where Holden Caulfield uses dirty words, hangs out with prostitutes and generally does not behave decently, was "shameful" and controversial. However this book is considered a masterpiece of literature from the past century. Mark David Chapman, the murderer of John Lennon, was carrying the book with him at the time of the murder...Not the best recommendation for it, but it is still admired by some of the smartest people in the world.
Lady Chatterley’s Lover, by D.H. Lawrence, is about young aristocratic Constance, wife of Clifford Chatterley, frustrated with her husband’s impotence caused by his paralysis, started messing around with Oliver Mellors, who is of a much lower class than her. Constance realises that to fulfil a complete life, she must not live only with her mind, but also with her body. Head prosecutor, who in court tried to explain the book was pornography, when asked if it were the kind of book "you would wish your wife or servants to read answered - Yes, Sir!
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Monday, April 21, 2008
You want it - You got it!
Jarrett Loft, 28, of Guelph, Ontario, had committed seven incidents of approaching women and asking to be kicked in the groin. He pleaded guilty to one count and was sentenced to 60 days in jail. There was no explanation for his behavior, other than that he was "curious." One victim, saying that she feared what Loft might do if she refused, repeatedly kicked him between the legs, after which he thanked her and rode off on his bicycle.
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Would Tesla be proud?
Tesla Motors CEO Ze'ev Drori announced the start of production. The company has succeeded in selling the entire planned amount for 2008 and a total of 900 orders were submitted for this $100,000 car. Tesla Motors is planning to reach production capacity of 100 roadsters per month next year, while it also plans to present a sports limousine with the same technical characteristics by 2010.
Monday, Monday...
*If people behaved like governments, you'd call the cops.
*A journey of a thousand miles begins with Dad saying, 'I know a shortcut.'
*You don't pay taxes; they TAKE taxes.
*The greatest right in the world is the right to be wrong.
*Bad weather reports are more likely to be accurate than good weather reports.
*The reason the rich are stingy is the reason they are rich.
*A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much.
*He who hesitates is not only lost, but is miles from the next exit.
*I am so broke my only assets are my frequent-flyer points and rollover minutes.
*Whatever hits the fan . . .won't spread evenly.
*Inflation hasn't ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver.
*There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.
*There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
*No one ever says 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
*Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
*One of the quickest ways for a young man to fail in life is to work so hard the boss will think he's after his job.
*The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
*Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
*I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
*The minister had a special filing drawer for his bills. It was labeled: 'Due unto others.'
*An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger.
*The best things in life are free ...or have no interest or payments for one full year.
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*A journey of a thousand miles begins with Dad saying, 'I know a shortcut.'
*You don't pay taxes; they TAKE taxes.
*The greatest right in the world is the right to be wrong.
*Bad weather reports are more likely to be accurate than good weather reports.
*The reason the rich are stingy is the reason they are rich.
*A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much.
*He who hesitates is not only lost, but is miles from the next exit.
*I am so broke my only assets are my frequent-flyer points and rollover minutes.
*Whatever hits the fan . . .won't spread evenly.
*Inflation hasn't ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver.
*There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.
*There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
*No one ever says 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
*Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
*One of the quickest ways for a young man to fail in life is to work so hard the boss will think he's after his job.
*The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
*Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
*I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
*The minister had a special filing drawer for his bills. It was labeled: 'Due unto others.'
*An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger.
*The best things in life are free ...or have no interest or payments for one full year.
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Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Greek Art
Following the rise and growth of the Greek Art market in recent years, Sotheby's forthcoming sale will be the most important sale of its kind ever staged. It will present 177 lots, offering works by major Greek artists such as Constantinos Volanakis, seen here.
Nice.
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Monday, April 14, 2008
Young At Heart
Now this had put a smile on my face (it has been awhile...)when I saw the clip on TV.
It's about a film following group of U.S. senior citizens belting out songs like Should I Stay or Should I Go, I Feel Good...
Heartfelt, funny,...amazing!
See sample HERE.
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It's about a film following group of U.S. senior citizens belting out songs like Should I Stay or Should I Go, I Feel Good...
Heartfelt, funny,...amazing!
See sample HERE.
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Friday, April 11, 2008
Dear Abby...
True letters to advice columnist, "Dear Abby":
Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?
Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything - and said it would never happen again.
Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered - I think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex - and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Dear Abby,
I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for what he can get? GERTIE
DEAR GERTIE: I don't know. What's he getting?
Dear Abby,
My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd like?CAROL
DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.
Dear Abby,
Are birth control pills deductible? KAY
DEAR KAY: Only if they don't work.
Dear Abby,
Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? WONDERING
DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late.
Dear Abby,
Do you think about dying much? CURIOUS
DEAR CURIOUS: No, it's the last thing I want to do.
Dear Abby,
Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time? JAKE
DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.
Dear Abby,
I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and he's still chasing women. Any suggestions? ANNIE
DEAR ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.
Dear Abby,
I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? SAM IN CAL.
DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.
Dear Abby,
What inspires you most to write? TED
DEAR TED: The Bureau of Internal Revenue.
Dear Abby,
When you are being introduced, is it all right to say, "I've heard a lot about you"? RITA
DEAR RITA: It depends on what you've heard.
Dear Abby,
I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. ROSE
DEAR ROSE: So would I.
Dear Abby,
What's the difference between a wife and a mistress? BESS
DEAR BESS: Night and Day.
Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?
Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything - and said it would never happen again.
Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered - I think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex - and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Dear Abby,
I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for what he can get? GERTIE
DEAR GERTIE: I don't know. What's he getting?
Dear Abby,
My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd like?CAROL
DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.
Dear Abby,
Are birth control pills deductible? KAY
DEAR KAY: Only if they don't work.
Dear Abby,
Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? WONDERING
DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late.
Dear Abby,
Do you think about dying much? CURIOUS
DEAR CURIOUS: No, it's the last thing I want to do.
Dear Abby,
Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time? JAKE
DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.
Dear Abby,
I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and he's still chasing women. Any suggestions? ANNIE
DEAR ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.
Dear Abby,
I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? SAM IN CAL.
DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.
Dear Abby,
What inspires you most to write? TED
DEAR TED: The Bureau of Internal Revenue.
Dear Abby,
When you are being introduced, is it all right to say, "I've heard a lot about you"? RITA
DEAR RITA: It depends on what you've heard.
Dear Abby,
I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. ROSE
DEAR ROSE: So would I.
Dear Abby,
What's the difference between a wife and a mistress? BESS
DEAR BESS: Night and Day.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Justice For All
Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer - Will Rogers
There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable - Robert Smith Surtees
Necessity knows no law; I know some attorneys of the same - Benjamin Franklin
Law school has been described as a place for the accumulation of learning. First-year students bring some in; third-year students take none away. Hence it accumulates - Unknown
Lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles than out of them - William Goldsmith A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns - Mario Puzo
The one great principle of English law is to make business for itself - Charles Dickens
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers - Elbert Hubbard
A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth - Patrick Murray
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing - Will Rogers
An incompetent lawyer can delay a trial for months or years. A competent lawyer can delay one even longer - Unknown
A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it to himself - Henry Bougham
There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable - Robert Smith Surtees
Necessity knows no law; I know some attorneys of the same - Benjamin Franklin
Law school has been described as a place for the accumulation of learning. First-year students bring some in; third-year students take none away. Hence it accumulates - Unknown
Lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles than out of them - William Goldsmith A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns - Mario Puzo
The one great principle of English law is to make business for itself - Charles Dickens
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers - Elbert Hubbard
A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth - Patrick Murray
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing - Will Rogers
An incompetent lawyer can delay a trial for months or years. A competent lawyer can delay one even longer - Unknown
A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it to himself - Henry Bougham
Sunday, April 6, 2008
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun had made a note, "Take only one, God is watching!"
Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One of the boys had written a note, "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."
.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun had made a note, "Take only one, God is watching!"
Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One of the boys had written a note, "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."
.
Island of the World
Michael O’Brien, an honourable author with a Christian background, best known for his recent novels “Eclipse of the Sun” and “Plague journal", who is also an honourable painter, illustrator of his own covers, in his 800 pages work “Island of the World” tells the story of Josip Lasta, a man who grows up in the turbulent time of the Second World War and who lives in "communist" Yugoslavia. As Lasta’s life goes by, the region lives important events and the hero soon finds himself in front of the key moments of his life and of the most challenging tests of his soul.
O’Brien thinks that the western civilisation has come to its sunset and that we are threaten by new Totalitarianism. He fights against the uniformity of the world, and he insists on the value of human life.
I am intrigued. Gotta read this book...
.
O’Brien thinks that the western civilisation has come to its sunset and that we are threaten by new Totalitarianism. He fights against the uniformity of the world, and he insists on the value of human life.
I am intrigued. Gotta read this book...
.
Always So Good
As a big fan of Jeremy Irons, I really wish I could see this play and hope they will eventually televise it.
It has been said Irons gave a masterful performance as an old-school politician, Harold Macmillan who was the British prime minister from 1957-63 when the Beatles and Swinging London were starting to change the world in "Never So Good" at London's National Theatre.
Macmillan was wounded five times in World War I, survived a plane crash in World War II, connived with U.S. President Eisenhower to end the 1956 Middle East War over the Suez Canal, and was there when Kennedy faced the Cuban missile crisis.
But he is best known for having to resign from office following what became tagged as the Profumo Affair when the U.K. minister of war became embroiled in sexual shenanigans with a woman named Christine Keeler, who also was sleeping with a Russian spy(!).
.
It has been said Irons gave a masterful performance as an old-school politician, Harold Macmillan who was the British prime minister from 1957-63 when the Beatles and Swinging London were starting to change the world in "Never So Good" at London's National Theatre.
Macmillan was wounded five times in World War I, survived a plane crash in World War II, connived with U.S. President Eisenhower to end the 1956 Middle East War over the Suez Canal, and was there when Kennedy faced the Cuban missile crisis.
But he is best known for having to resign from office following what became tagged as the Profumo Affair when the U.K. minister of war became embroiled in sexual shenanigans with a woman named Christine Keeler, who also was sleeping with a Russian spy(!).
.
Monday, March 31, 2008
They call it Poetry
James Grainger (1721-67):
...Come, muse, let us sing of rats...
Adam Lindsay Gordon (1833-67):
Flash! flash! bang! bang! and we blazed away,
And the grey roof reddened and rang;
Flash! flash! and I felt his bullet flay
The tip of my ear. Flash! bang!
John Armstrong (1709-79):
...that which Cestria sends, tenacious paste
of solid milk...
John Bidlake (1755-1814):
The sluggard carrot sleeps his day in bed
The cripples pea alone cannot stand.
George Crabbe (1754-1832):
And I was ask'd and authorised to go
To seek the firm of Clutterbuck and Co.
William Balmford:
So 'tis with Christians, Nature being weak
While in this world, are liable to leak.
William Wordsworth:
I've measured it from side to side;
Tis three feet long, and two feet wide.
Margaret Cavendish:
What is liquid?
All that doth flow we cannot liquid name
Or else would fire and water be the same;
But that is liquid which is moist and wet
Fire that property can never get
Then 'tis not cold that doth the fire put out.
But 'tis the wet that makes it die, no doubt.
.
...Come, muse, let us sing of rats...
Adam Lindsay Gordon (1833-67):
Flash! flash! bang! bang! and we blazed away,
And the grey roof reddened and rang;
Flash! flash! and I felt his bullet flay
The tip of my ear. Flash! bang!
John Armstrong (1709-79):
...that which Cestria sends, tenacious paste
of solid milk...
John Bidlake (1755-1814):
The sluggard carrot sleeps his day in bed
The cripples pea alone cannot stand.
George Crabbe (1754-1832):
And I was ask'd and authorised to go
To seek the firm of Clutterbuck and Co.
William Balmford:
So 'tis with Christians, Nature being weak
While in this world, are liable to leak.
William Wordsworth:
I've measured it from side to side;
Tis three feet long, and two feet wide.
Margaret Cavendish:
What is liquid?
All that doth flow we cannot liquid name
Or else would fire and water be the same;
But that is liquid which is moist and wet
Fire that property can never get
Then 'tis not cold that doth the fire put out.
But 'tis the wet that makes it die, no doubt.
.
"Honor" over Truth
Italy's highest appeals court ruled that it is not illegal for a woman to lie in a police investigation if the reason is to cover up her adulterous affair. Court said that her honor is more important than providing intimate information about her lover.
Yeay for smart Italian women (no double standard here whatsoever)!
Yeay for smart Italian women (no double standard here whatsoever)!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Idol # 7
David Cook had a band called Axium. Look it up.
However - here are a couple of his excellent covers on Idol, worth listening:
Hello
Billy Jean
Carly Smithson (former Hennessy) had two singles earlier.
Here's her cover of Crazy On You.
How do they do it in ex-Yu? Take a look.
Crotian Idol
Serbian Idol
Re-cap of your 6 Idols:
season 1: Kelly Clarkson (still going strong)
season 2: Ruben Studard ( kinda quiet now...was a good Idol, though)
season 3: Fantasia Barrino (turned to musicles...was fantastic Idol)
season 4: Carrie Underwood (a country star...even has a one good song)
season 5: Taylor Hicks (where's this fella? Katherine, Chris & Elliot are shmoozing around, but not Taylor...)
season 6: Jordin Sparks (I don't expect to see her ever again. Melinda should have won...)
.
However - here are a couple of his excellent covers on Idol, worth listening:
Hello
Billy Jean
Carly Smithson (former Hennessy) had two singles earlier.
Here's her cover of Crazy On You.
How do they do it in ex-Yu? Take a look.
Crotian Idol
Serbian Idol
Re-cap of your 6 Idols:
season 1: Kelly Clarkson (still going strong)
season 2: Ruben Studard ( kinda quiet now...was a good Idol, though)
season 3: Fantasia Barrino (turned to musicles...was fantastic Idol)
season 4: Carrie Underwood (a country star...even has a one good song)
season 5: Taylor Hicks (where's this fella? Katherine, Chris & Elliot are shmoozing around, but not Taylor...)
season 6: Jordin Sparks (I don't expect to see her ever again. Melinda should have won...)
.
No idea is stupid...
According to Edison, to create a good invention you need imagination and a pile of junk (he should know...). Here are a couple of simple ideas worth billions.
*Jeff Bezos had the idea of selling books on the internet. Saving on storage and wide spaces (book shops) helped him sell books at lower prices and the result was a richness of 4.4 billion dollars. That idea is called Amazon.com.
*The idea of the son of Russian immigrants was to add a sticker of a horse to a normal polo t-shirt and sell it for 50 dollars a piece, and the final result is a richness of 5 billion dollars. This man is Ralph Lauren who worked in a department store for Brooks Brothers. He borrowed 50,000 dollars and launched “Polo”. In 1994 he sold 28% of the incomes of the company and earned 138 million dollars. Presently Lauren’s fortune amounts 5 billion dollars.
*A drink that contains caffeine and carbonate with a lot of vitamin B, and launching it on the market for sportsmen and party lovers was a success. Yoovidhya and Mateschitz created Red Bull and addressed it to young people buy using bold adverts and extreme spots. Red Bull is the owner of a Formula 1 team and two football clubs: the Red Bull Salzburg and the New York Red Bulls. The value of their richness is 3 billion dollars, each.
*Jeff Bezos had the idea of selling books on the internet. Saving on storage and wide spaces (book shops) helped him sell books at lower prices and the result was a richness of 4.4 billion dollars. That idea is called Amazon.com.
*The idea of the son of Russian immigrants was to add a sticker of a horse to a normal polo t-shirt and sell it for 50 dollars a piece, and the final result is a richness of 5 billion dollars. This man is Ralph Lauren who worked in a department store for Brooks Brothers. He borrowed 50,000 dollars and launched “Polo”. In 1994 he sold 28% of the incomes of the company and earned 138 million dollars. Presently Lauren’s fortune amounts 5 billion dollars.
*A drink that contains caffeine and carbonate with a lot of vitamin B, and launching it on the market for sportsmen and party lovers was a success. Yoovidhya and Mateschitz created Red Bull and addressed it to young people buy using bold adverts and extreme spots. Red Bull is the owner of a Formula 1 team and two football clubs: the Red Bull Salzburg and the New York Red Bulls. The value of their richness is 3 billion dollars, each.
College - yes or no?
Samuel Beckett: Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.
W. H. Auden: Definition of a College professor: someone who talks in other people's sleep.
Ruby Wax: College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
Bill Vaughn: Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income-which he then spends sending his son to college.
G. K. Chesterson: Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
Mike Barfield: An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order.
George Bernard Shaw: He who can does - he who cannot, teaches.
Mark Twain: I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
Albert Einstein: Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Robert Frost: College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Gohen: If you feel that you have both feet planted on solid ground, then the university has failed you.
Elbert Hubbard: You can lead a boy to college, but you can't make him think.
Anonymous: If all the students who slept through lectures were laid end to end, they'd all be a lot more comfortable.
W. H. Auden: Definition of a College professor: someone who talks in other people's sleep.
Ruby Wax: College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
Bill Vaughn: Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income-which he then spends sending his son to college.
G. K. Chesterson: Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
Mike Barfield: An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order.
George Bernard Shaw: He who can does - he who cannot, teaches.
Mark Twain: I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
Albert Einstein: Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Robert Frost: College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Gohen: If you feel that you have both feet planted on solid ground, then the university has failed you.
Elbert Hubbard: You can lead a boy to college, but you can't make him think.
Anonymous: If all the students who slept through lectures were laid end to end, they'd all be a lot more comfortable.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Danube swimming
After a record holder Milorad Cavic collected gold for the 50-meter butterfly on Wednesday and then wore a T-shirt proclaiming "Kosovo is Serbia" at a medal presentation ceremony, he was suspended from further participation in individual events at the European swimming championships. The Serbian swimming federation was also fined $10,800.
Milorad said "I didn't do it to provoke anger, I didn't do it to provoke violence. The country is torn apart and ... my goal was just to uplift them."
Was the decision right - you be the judge.
Warning, maybe... definitely a fine $...
Alternate slogans that would have worked:
Free Tibet
Independent Kosovo
Kosovo is not Serbia any more
Free Willy
No nukes
Adio, Roko!
Boris Dvornik died at the age of 69 from a stroke.
He has made more than 40 movies and left an in-erasable mark in ex-Yu television and theatre.
Boris was born in Split in 1939. He started acting at the age of 8. Graduated from the High School of Acting in Novi Sad, after which he enrolled at Zagreb’s Theatre Academy. He gained popularity with his first movie “Deveti krug” that launched him to the top of Yugoslav acting scene. He left his biggest mark in television series ‘Malo misto’, ‘Velo misto’, ‘Roko I Cicibela’ and ‘Kapelski kresovi’. His character Roko is the most popular character in the region, a stubborn Dalmatian who always has a comment and can never keep his mouth shut.
Boris had a special relationship with Bata Zivojinovic. The two Yugoslav acting giants used to be great friends for years, only to have a public fight in the early 1990s. Their feud lasted throughout the decade and it ended only recently.
He has made more than 40 movies and left an in-erasable mark in ex-Yu television and theatre.
Boris was born in Split in 1939. He started acting at the age of 8. Graduated from the High School of Acting in Novi Sad, after which he enrolled at Zagreb’s Theatre Academy. He gained popularity with his first movie “Deveti krug” that launched him to the top of Yugoslav acting scene. He left his biggest mark in television series ‘Malo misto’, ‘Velo misto’, ‘Roko I Cicibela’ and ‘Kapelski kresovi’. His character Roko is the most popular character in the region, a stubborn Dalmatian who always has a comment and can never keep his mouth shut.
Boris had a special relationship with Bata Zivojinovic. The two Yugoslav acting giants used to be great friends for years, only to have a public fight in the early 1990s. Their feud lasted throughout the decade and it ended only recently.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Those resumes...
Resume Mistakes:
*Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
*Education: College, August 1880-May 1984.
*Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.
*Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.
*I'm a rabid typist.
*Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.
Personal Qualities
*I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.
*I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability.
*Number of dependents: 40.
*Marital Status: Often. Children: Various.
*I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.
Special Requests
*Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
*Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
*Education: College, August 1880-May 1984.
*Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.
*Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.
*I'm a rabid typist.
*Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.
Personal Qualities
*I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.
*I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability.
*Number of dependents: 40.
*Marital Status: Often. Children: Various.
*I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.
Special Requests
*Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Elections' Quotes
"I started out as thinking 'This would be funny, why don't I run?' But then I discovered I really wanted to do it. I want to show that you can do porn and it doesn't mean you are stupid".
Mary (Mary Carey) Cook, Nonpartisan Adult Film Actress
"It doesn't matter if you are a Democrat or Republican, If you're young or old, what the racial thing is, nothing matters to me. To me what matters is that I want to represent everyone in California. That is the important thing."
Arnold Schwarzanegger, Republican Actor
And the MAN himself:
"They misunderestimated me." —George W. Bush
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." —George W. Bush
"This is an impressive crowd. The haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base" —George W. Bush.
"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century." —George W. Bush, reflecting on the Lewinsky scandal.
"The idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous." —George W. Bush
"Public speaking is very easy."
Mary (Mary Carey) Cook, Nonpartisan Adult Film Actress
"It doesn't matter if you are a Democrat or Republican, If you're young or old, what the racial thing is, nothing matters to me. To me what matters is that I want to represent everyone in California. That is the important thing."
Arnold Schwarzanegger, Republican Actor
And the MAN himself:
"They misunderestimated me." —George W. Bush
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." —George W. Bush
"This is an impressive crowd. The haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base" —George W. Bush.
"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century." —George W. Bush, reflecting on the Lewinsky scandal.
"The idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous." —George W. Bush
"Public speaking is very easy."
Honouring Clarke
Sir Arthur C. Clarke (90), a Sci-fi pioneer, writer and visionary , best known for his novel "2001: A Space Odyssey" has died. He wrote more than 80 books and hundreds of short stories and articles. In the 1940s Clarke predicted that man would reach the moon by the year 2000, an idea that experts dismissed as nonsense. Clarke recorded a farewell message to his friends, saying in part that he would have liked to see evidence of extraterrestrial life during his lifetime.
During WWII he had served as a radar specialist in the Royal Air Force. Then he became involved in the British Interplanetary Society, where he proposed an idea for geostationary satellites as telecommunications relays...
Arthur's famous quotes:
*It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
*Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
*The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
*It may be that the old astrologers had the truth exactly reversed, when they believed that the stars controlled the destinies of men. The time may come when men control the destinies of stars.
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