Monday, Monday...

*If people behaved like governments, you'd call the cops.
*A journey of a thousand miles begins with Dad saying, 'I know a shortcut.'
*You don't pay taxes; they TAKE taxes.
*The greatest right in the world is the right to be wrong.
*Bad weather reports are more likely to be accurate than good weather reports.
*The reason the rich are stingy is the reason they are rich.
*A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much.
*He who hesitates is not only lost, but is miles from the next exit.
*I am so broke my only assets are my frequent-flyer points and rollover minutes.
*Whatever hits the fan . . .won't spread evenly.
*Inflation hasn't ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver.
*There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.
*There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
*No one ever says 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
*Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
*One of the quickest ways for a young man to fail in life is to work so hard the boss will think he's after his job.
*The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
*Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
*I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
*The minister had a special filing drawer for his bills. It was labeled: 'Due unto others.'
*An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger.
*The best things in life are free ...or have no interest or payments for one full year.

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