'I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.'David Bissonette'After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.'Hemant Joshi
'By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.'Socrates
'Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.'Dumas
'I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.'Anonymous
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'Henny Youngman
'I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.'Sam Kinison
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'James Holt McGavran
'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'Patrick Murray
'Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.'Nash
'A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.'Milton Berle
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