*Dear milkman I've just had a baby, please leave another one.*Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.
*Cancel one pint after the day after today.
*Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.
*Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.
*Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.
*Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea.
*Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.
*My back door is open. Please put milk in fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.
*Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.
*No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.
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