*A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked him. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move", answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know", explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst! and it didn't move."
*A little girl goes to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her,"Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know and I'm gonna get boobs, too."
*As exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said,"Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, "For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!"
*One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug."I can't dear,"she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:"The big sissy."
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