Friday, December 7, 2007

Useful Labels

*On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...a bit late, huh!)
*On Sainsbury's peanuts - "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
*On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine - "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head colds off those bulldozers.)
*On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
*On a Sears hairdryer - Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
*On a bag of Fritos - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
*On a bar of Dial soap - "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
*On packaging for a Rowenta iron - "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
*On Nytol Sleep Aid - "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(I'm taking this because???)
*On most brands of Christmas lights - "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
*On a Japanese food processor - "Not to be used for the other use."
(help me on this...)
*On an American Airlines packet of nuts - "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
*On a child's Superman costume - "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
*On a Swedish chainsaw - "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(OMG...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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