Sam Levenson

1. The first screw to get loose in your head is the one that holds your tongue in place.
2. You're only young once. After that it takes some other excuse for behaving like an idiot.
3. Even if the majority agrees on an idiotic idea, it is still an idiotic idea.
4. There are more important things in life than money. The trouble is they all cost money.
5. On sex education in schools: Let them teach it! If the schools teach sex the way they teach everything else, the kids will lose interest anyhow.
6. Somewhere on this globe a woman is giving birth to a child every ten seconds. She must be found and stopped.
7. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
8. I admit that my wife is outspoken, but by whom?
9. Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children.
10. Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.