Monday, March 17, 2008

Job Ads Interpretation

Competitive salary We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join our fast-paced company We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely.
Must be deadline oriented You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Must be flexible On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
Some overtime required Some time each night and some time each weekend.
Duties will vary Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail We have no quality control.
Career-minded Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).
Apply in person If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
No phone calls please We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
Seeking candiates with a wide variety of experience You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
Problem-solving a must You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

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